Parenthood is filled with uncertainties and yes, even terror from time to time.
You have a new human being you’re now responsible for…now what?!?!
And you better believe that advice comes at you left and right after you have a child…
But which pieces of info are you supposed to listen to?
Millennials shared the best AND worst parenting advice they’re received.
Check out what they had to say.
1. Doesn’t sound right…
“WORST: “‘Sleep when the baby sleeps.’
Am I supposed to shower when the baby showers and cook when the baby cooks?”
2. Can’t take it back.
“BEST: “My sister-in-law had just given her 12-year-old a phone. She later regretted giving it to her at that age.
Her advice when I was pregnant was to never do something unless you’re ready for that to be the new norm, because you can’t take some things back.
It has been indispensable advice since having our son.”
3. Oh, no.
“WORST: “A total stranger told me while I was pregnant, ‘You better not vaccinate, or the baby will be autistic. Do your own research!’
I told her I read the AAP [American Academy of Pediatrics] recommendation on vaccines, and we will follow what scientists recommend.”
4. Moms know best.
“BEST: “The best advice came from my mom: You might not feel that magic, all-encompassing love for your baby right away, and that’s okay. This is an entirely new person you’re meeting, and it takes time for those feelings to develop.
Second best advice came from my grandma: If you need to put baby down for a minute, put them on the floor. Babies can’t roll off the floor and hurt themselves.”
5. Not for everyone.
“WORST: “‘Breast is best!’
I breastfed my first for a year because I felt so much pressure to do it. I absolutely hated every second of it. It was so bad for my mental health. I was crazy depressed. I had a hard time bonding with my son because I felt like he only saw me as a food source, and my body was in so much pain.
My n**ples are absolutely ruined — one literally has a flap of skin hanging off still two years later because he bit me. Sometimes, the milk looked like strawberry milk from all the blood. With my second child, I ignored the pressure and bottle fed, and I am SO much happier and healthier.
Note that I’m absolutely not saying breastfeeding is bad for everyone. I know some people who love it. But for me, it was absolutely awful. I, personally, don’t suggest it.”
6. Not gonna work.
“WORST: “My stepmother suggest that I move into a furnished apartment with my 3, 6, and 8-year-olds.
I explained that wouldn’t work with the kids, and she told me it was time to teach them to be responsible.
I tried to explain that isn’t how it works with toddlers.”
7. Good one.
“BEST: “I was worrying about how soon my daughter could pick up/turn her head back when she was an infant.
My mom stopped and asked me one day, “Have you ever seen a kindergartener who can’t hold up their head, walk, talk, etc.?”
That was a game-changer. I relaxed BIG TIME about when my daughter was hitting her milestones after that.”
8. That’ll do it.
“WORST: “My child had debilitating anxiety about school that required professional treatment. During the height of our suffering, a friend told me she gets her kids to go to school by giving them a quarter.
So, why don’t I try just giving him a quarter? Who knew…$10,000 on therapy and OT and countless meetings with school administrators, and all I needed to do was just give him a quarter!”
9. Works wonders.
“BEST: “Toddlers can’t act right if they don’t feel right. Address their feelings first, and then work on the behavior.
It works wonders for helping with meltdowns and toddler stubbornness.”
10. Things have changed.
“WORST: “Anytime they say, ‘Well, back in my day…’ ‘babies slept on their stomach,’ ‘babies used bumpers in cribs,’ etc. And it’s worse when followed with ‘and you survived.’
Yes, but now, we have more research, and there were babies that didn’t. Follow the latest guidelines and advice from doctors. Science continues to advance the more we learn; that’s its purpose.”
11. You haven’t failed.
“BEST: “Be willing to change your expectations — it doesn’t mean that you failed!
Have things that you value, but don’t get so bogged down by what you thought parenting would look like that you fail to enjoy the reality (even in those moments that the reality really, really sucks).”
12. Do it your way.
“WORST: “The one that immediately makes me livid is ‘Don’t pick your baby up every time she cries. You’re just teaching her how to manipulate you.’ Said about my 3-week-old.
As if a newborn would be learning how to game the system. An infant communicates through crying. What do you expect me to do? Ignore her in a backroom until she learns to ask politely?? I will never not get riled up when older family members tsk and roll their eyes every time I respond immediately to my crying baby. They can just eff off.
Or, telling me to just go lay her down at family events and that I shouldn’t be holding her all the time. I just like cuddling my babies! They’re only so tiny for such a short time before they start crawling and getting into everything. Just let me love them how I want to.”
