Relationships aren’t easy, and you probably realize that far more of them end than work out in the long run. That means there are a lot of people out there breaking up – and sometimes, the reasons aren’t all that great.
That said, these 18 people were blindsided by some pretty hilarious – and dumb – reasons.
18. No competing with that!
When I was in 2nd grade, I had a girlfriend. There was a kid in my class that had a crush on her. He told her that he hasn’t “pooped since he was like 2 years old”.
The next day, he was her boyfriend.
17. I hope they were no older than 12.
Because her friends broke up with their boyfriends.
16. I have some bad news for him.
My old roommate broke up with this girl cus he heard her fart once.
15. That’s an understatement.
I visited my dad. While he was in hospital. With cancer. She broke up with me because I was visiting my dying dad instead of visiting her.
I feel like I dodged a major bullet….
14. How dare you want to sleep?!
2 months into dating a girl, I accidentally spilled some melatonin out of my backpack on her bedroom floor.
She was like “What are those pills!?” Accusations of me being a drug addict (I wasn’t) and then blocked me on everything.
13. Bless her heart.
No joke. Her mood ring changed colours.
12. Pizza is serious business.
I didn’t agree that his favourite pizza brand was good.
11. You can’t beat a good old car.
Car was too old. Dropped her, car is still chugging along.
The f**ked up part is, she was driving a nice shiny new car that her parents bought her. Guess she didn’t want to look like a peasant next to me.
10. That doesn’t make a lot of sense.
“I love you. You’re the best man I’ve ever met and I hope whoever I end up with is just like you.
Just not you.”
Then she kissed me and said she’d miss me terribly.
Such a mindf**k. She was “the one” until this moment.
A few months later, I met my now wife. So thank god for that.
9. What on earth…?
“You’ve been really sad ever since I cheated on you and I don’t like that, so bye!”
I found out he cheated on me months after the fact—I attempted to break up with him but I was young and thought we I was in love so I stayed when he promised he would make it up to me, until he texted me a few days later saying he didn’t like knowing that he was the reason I was sad all the time and then he blocked me.
8. Creative for sure.
They saw a car pulled over with a flat tire and took it as a sign from God.
I think they were just looking for any reason to get out of the relationship. Using this one though is a bit .. creative
7. He was just trying to be nice.
She broke it off to try and be with a guy at her job. He told her he wouldn’t go out with someone already in a relationship. He was trying to be nice and not cause trouble.
She didn’t get the guy and she lost her job because she made a big scene about not getting what she wanted.
I’d say I was the lucky one in that situation even if it didn’t feel like it at the time.
6. The popcorn is one step too far.
3rd or 4th date. Till then, everything had actually seemed pretty great.
I took her to the movies, asked if she wanted butter on her popcorn…
Get back to the seat, hand it to her, she takes a bite and spits it out comically like into the row of seats in front of us. Then yells at me, loud, so the people she just spit on already get even more of the experience ruined along with whoever they are sitting with:
Is there fucking butter on this?
I said, “yeah like you said.”
Like I said, like I said? I distinctly said, “nah” NOT “yah”, how could you?
Then she walked out of the date and our relationship, WITH THE FUCKING POPCORN.
5. They were on a break!
She sent me a breakup text as she was jumping into some other guy’s back seat. I got the story a couple hours later through a mutual friend who was there. The next day she called wanting to get back together.
Basically, she just wanted to cheat guilt free.
4. Awkward.
I dated a woman for about a year and helped her finish her PhD. I proofread and wrote some of her thesis. After she received the degree, she broke up with me.
She said she didn’t feel comfortable that she was better educated than I was.
3. Of course he did.
My first boyfriend came over and dumped me on my front porch. He said he didn’t like my lisp.
He also had a lisp.
2. Dodged a bullet for sure.
I wasn’t jealous enough 🤷♀️ She was meeting with one “friend” a lot. Told her it made me uncomfortable but I trusted her.
Apparently, if i had been more jealous (aka controlling) she would not have broken up. Fuck me for being a trusting person. Dodged a cannon ball there.
1. What a charmer.
Not me, but my sister got dumped because the dude had gotten a nicer car, and told her that now he felt he needed a prettier girlfriend than she was.
Y’all, I am deceased.
I want to hear more silly breakup reasons, for science!
