Society is changing so fast it just makes sense that our vocabulary is struggling to keep up. We need new words to describe new things, and fairly often, too – which is where something called “phubbing” enters the picture.
It occurs when one person gets out their phone to avoid having a meaningful conversation with another person in public (or I guess in private, too, but mostly in front of others).
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The term was coined after Macquarie Dictionary commissioned a group of experts to describe “the act of snubbing someone in a social setting by looking at your phone instead of paying attention.”
“Snubbing” + “Phone” = “Phubbing.”
We’ve all seen this happen, and if we’re being perfectly honest, we’ve all done it or had it done to us since the advent of the smartphone, too. At first, perhaps we could blame it on the novelty, but decades into the game and we’ve got to assume that now people are doing it on purpose.
McCann, the advertising agency behind the term itself, started a “Stop Phubbing” campaign that seems to have struck a nerve with many.
The reason is because the ubiquitous presence of mobile phones is having a real and detrimental affect on face-to-face communication.
This study, published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, found that people are struggling to form good-quality relationships when phones are out – and that goes even more for instances in which people are trying to discuss something meaningful to them.
A similar 2021 review found that people who are being ignored in favor of a smartphone feel less satisfied with their social interactions, less trusting of the other person, and often experience jealousy and low mood.
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Another study found that phubbing decreases relationship satisfaction, increases feelings of loneliness, and can hit empathetic folks extra hard.
We’re not only talking about romantic relationships, either. Children’s development and well-being are likely also being affected.
The whole phenomenon is a bit strange, when you think about it, since these are devices that are meant to keep us connected, not the opposite.
Why do people “phub,” then, if it makes us all feel so terrible?
Experts suggest that addiction is a real problem, as is people feeling as if they’re missing out on something – anything – going on on social media while they’re attending to their actual life.
And get this – when people leave their phones put away, they can actually experience more difficulties concentrating and in paying attention to the conversations happening around them.
“We believe that at least having the mobile phone available improved perceived concentration abilities because the device remained accessible and brought participants psychological comfort.”
They’re security blankets, basically, and after only a couple of decades with them, most of us would feel utterly lost if they were taken away.
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“In contrast with other work that suggests the mobile phone may have interpersonal consequences for conversation dynamics, our data suggests that there may be perceived intrapersonal benefits for those who at least have the phone in front of them relative to those who do not.”
So maybe keep your phone-blankie in sight but flipped over on the table. There’s some value in being present in the moment, after all.
Unless you’re on a terrible date and hoping the other person will get the message.
In that case, phub away.
