Being the first one in a friend group to do “grown up things” like get married and have children can be tough. It’s a transition that the others may or may not go through in time, but at the moment, you can feel cut loose and adrift.
OP’s friend has gotten engaged and she says everyone is happy for them – but they’re not so happy with her fiancee now showing up to every get together they plan.
My (27F) friend (28F) recently got engaged. She’s the first one in our group to get engaged and we are very excited. Although we are very happy for her, we’ve noticed something a bit… odd.
Her fiancé is ALWAYS there. I mean, every event my friend is invited to, he’s there. Girls night out? He’s there. Weekend getaway? He’s there. Movie night with the gang? He’s there. He. Is. Always. There. We are all singles so he’s the only guy in our chillings.
Recently, OP wanted to celebrate with girls only, and also knew that her modest, religious friends would be more comfortable not having to cover up. So, she asked her engaged friend to leave her fiancee at home.
For my birthday this year, I wanted to do a little dinner at one of the girl’s condo. Movies, board games, good food.
I really wanted it to be only girls since two of the group are religious (one jewish, one muslim) and would be able to remove their veil and dress “less modestly” (term they used).
So I specifically told my friend to NOT bring her fiancé as it is only girls. She told me “no problem, can’t wait to be with you all”.
The friend agreed, but then showed up with her fiance anyway.
OP refused to let them in and they eventually left.
WELL. Guess who showed up! Yup. Her fiancé. We were already all there at my friend’s condo and when I opened the door my friend was there with her fiancé. She was about to come in when I stopped her. I told her that he shouldn’t be here, that it was girls only. She told me it wasn’t a big deal and he is always with us. I
told her it was a big deal and she’s disinvited and she and her fiancé can leave. She told me I was being ridiculous, a hypocrite and an a$$hole for doing this. She left and she stopped talking to me.
She still feels as if she did nothing wrong, but some of her friends thought she should have backed down.
Some of the girls told me it was an asshole move and I should’ve just let it go and let her in with her fiancé but I don’t agree. AITA?
A lot of people are asking me if they were like this while dating. No, her fiancé rarely showed up to anything when they were dating. It all started when my friend got engaged.
Reddit’s coming in with their verdict below!
The top comment says that her friends’ comfort is more important than whatever is going on in their relationship.
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This person says, from, experience, that this may not end well.
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They say the bottom line is that the friend reneged on her promise.
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People are seeing red flags everywhere, but they’re torn on who might be waving them.
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This commenter says OP should stop inviting her/them until they can figure out their s*%t.
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The friend brought this on herself, honestly.
She should have told her fiancee to stay home or not gone. This isn’t OP’s fault.
