TwistedSifter

These Adult Children Are Upset Their Mother Is Dating Despite Not Being Divorced. Do They Need To Let It Go?

Divorce is hard on families no matter when it happens – whether you separate when kids are young or wait until they’re grown and flown, there are a lot of feelings to process.

OP is a grandson in the equation, and has a special relationship with his grandmother.

She and his grandfather have been separated (but not divorced) for 25+ years. She raised all of the kids on her own, as he was an unsupportive alcoholic who did not help out financially or otherwise.

My grandma (65F) and I (21M) get along really well, she is amazing, I love her and look up to her, that’s why my perspective can be biased and need some points of views to know if I fed up.

Grandma had five children (my dad 43M, my uncle T 42M, My uncle M 35M, My aunt F 47F and My aunt S 30F) with grandpa (66M).

Grandpa was a terrible father and a garbage husband, an alcoholic who spent all his money on liquor, never supported grandma while she worked her *ss to provide for her kids as a baker, she got tired of it and kicked him out in the 90’s, she stayed as single mom and only provider, did he pay child support? NO, did he help her buy a house for his kids? NO, did he ask for custody or try to spend time with his kids? NO, he only visited once in a blue moon.

Recently Grandma met someone and they began dating. She announced she was moving in with him, and OP thinks it’s great because it makes her happy.

Grandma and Grandpa never divorced since my grandma didn’t believe in it, and she was always a single mother, my grandma started dating William (67M) two years ago, but she didn’t introduce him to her kids because she was afraid of their reaction and I was the only one who knew about the “affair”, Grandma announced that she was moving to William’s house this past July and everyone was furious and started accusing her of cheating and that she was choosing her affair partner over her own kids, she was even hesitant about moving in with William but I encouraged her because he makes her happy and he is a nice man.

Her children, though, are upset and are barely speaking to her.

Recently they were talking s*%t about him behind her back about her “affair.” OP couldn’t take it anymore and told them they need to grow up and be happy for her.

It’s been almost two months and they refuse to talk to her or have low contact with her and that is hurting her, she asked my grandpa for a divorce and he got mad at her and accused her of cheating.

They were talking sh*t about her (they 6 at a family dinner) thus I told them to grow up and stop acting like kids since they are not, I told them that they should be happy about their mom’s happiness because that woman dedicated her life to make life easier for them and it’s so unfair that they sh*t on her while praising my grandpa (who had girlfriends by the way)

They said he’s not taking their feelings into consideration, but he doesn’t think it should be about them at all.

They all called me TA for not taking their feelings into consideration and they say that something doesn’t feel right about their mom dating at this age.

They accuse her of cheating but that isn’t cheating, they haven’t been together for around 25 years, my grandpa had couple of gfs (yes, they were mad at him too, but it’s time to grow up)

AITA for telling them to grow up, I think they need to understand that their parents ain’t getting back together (in case they have a hope) and that grandma has a right to be happy, I mean she did her job already without any help.

What does Reddit think about this family drama? Let’s find out!

The top comment says they’re separated, and that is good enough for dating. They’ll have to get a divorce if she wants to marry William, though.

Image Credit: Reddit

The second comment says the kids are acting insane. They are adults, after all.

Image Credit: Reddit

They say she’s not choosing anything over her kids, because she has no “kids,” only grown adult children.

Image Credit: Reddit

This person wonders why they’re even protective of their dad.

Image Credit: Reddit

Why don’t they want their mother to be happy after all this time?

Image Credit: Reddit

I can’t believe this is even a discussion, given what sort of man their father is to begin with.

Why are they choosing appearances over their mother? Ugh!

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