Every person in the world has secrets. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been with someone, there’s a good chance you don’t know everything about who they are or how they think.
OP in this case was definitely caught off guard when he realized why his girlfriend wanted so many compliments after she fixed him dinner.
OP’s father is deceased, but left a legacy of making nice, fancy dinners for his family. Now they get together a couple of times a month to recreate some of his recipes and keep his memory alive.
My(25m) father (deceased) studied to be a chef but life got in the way and had to do something else, but he kept his cooking skills. Every Saturday or Sunday, he prepared us a 5-course meal for the family.
We (family) are not that good but we get together at least 2 times a month and cook some of the dishes that he used to prepare for us.
His girlfriend is an accomplished cook herself and has taken it upon herself to fix many (if not all) of OP’s father’s meals herself. The thing is, no matter how many ways he told her the meals were great, she never seemed happy with his answers.
My gf (26f) also likes to cook and she is very good at it. She has been part of said tradition (as a guest) and knows the many plates my father made for us.
Now, for the past 6 months she has invited me to eat at her house, she has made every said plates, I didn’t find it strange at the beginning but after a couple of times, every time that she asked me how it was, no matter how much I tell her that it was very good, she somehow ends up dissatisfied with my answer.
I have asked her what was the issue but got no answer.
Finally, he understood: she was wanting him to say that her meals were better than the ones his dad used to make.
A few days ago, she made my favorite dish and dessert. After I basically stuff my face, she asked me how it was and I told her it was freaking delicious. She started with how delicious? I answered her with 30 different ways of delicious and she was still not satisfied.
Then she asked the question, better than your dad’s? And I understood why she was not satisfied.
Surprised, he told her that he loves her cooking and he loved his cooking but that he would never compare the two. If she’s looking for him to do that, she should quit now because she’s never going to win.
This is what I said to her and what possibly makes me the asshole:
“Please don’t do that because I will never compare the two of you. Your food is delicious, I mean, I eat half a pot in one sit of how good it was. But if you want me to tell you that you are better than my old man, I’m sorry but it won’t happen and it’s not because of the level of your cuisine but for the mere fact that you are not my old man. You’re good on your own right. I look forward to eating your food just as much as I did every weekend he cooked for us. He’s gone, please stop competing with a ghost because you’re fighting a losing battle.”.
She ended up kicking me out and things have been icy between us.
He offered a few edits here that might answer some of your questions.
EDIT: I never thought this would get this much attention. I will give you more information to make things clearer.
She never met my father, we met 2 years after he passed away.
I neither my family has compared her food or my brother’s partners to our father’s or anyone. Our grandma (dad’s mother) did that (to us not them) and we made her cut it out because we know it’s just plain rude.
When we get together we’re not babbling about our father, we know it would be a drag. We catch up about what we’re are doing while someone cooks. If one of them brings a dish, we happily eat it.
If there’s something we can be wrong when we go to mom’s house, it’s that we don’t let them cook (mom’s request). My brothers or I are the ones who do it and we do it because we have many mannerism from our father. Although we are not him, it’s like he is here. If they want to help, we let them help but we are mainly in charge. We mostly cook what our father’s used to prepare, but we also do other things.
If one of them invite us to their place, we all happily go and eat whatever they prepare because they’re also very good at it.
Lastly, we are planning to talk later today or tomorrow to clear things up and move from there.
So, was he too harsh with her? I know Reddit has some serious opinions!
The top comment says, in no uncertain terms, that OP’s girlfriend has gone too far.
Image Credit: Reddit
This person agrees, stating in a very colorful way that OP needs to get the heck out.
Image Credit: Reddit
Definitely not the harmless sort of crazy, they say.
Image Credit: Reddit
These commenters might need an update from OP just to make sure he’s ok.
Image Credit: Reddit
“Yikes” pretty much sums up everyone’s feelings.
Image Credit: Reddit
This is one of the weirder posts I’ve read on this forum, tbh.
Like everyone else, I sure hope OP is ok!
