Weddings are meant to be intensely personal events that represent the bride, the groom, and their coming together for the foreseeable future.
I think it’s obvious to most people that we’ve lost sight of that a bit and turned them into parties that are more about putting on a show. That said, I think most people would also agree that the decision of who walks her down the aisle should belong to the bride alone.
This OP was raised by her older sister after their mother passed away. Her sister had a different father, and his family cut her off when she decided to step in as guardian.
I (23F) was raised by my older half sister (32F). I never met my dad and our mom OD’d when I was 10 and my sister was 19. My sister’s dad was still in her life and was willing to support her, but not me.
My sister chose to be my guardian and her father’s family went low-contact with her as a result. In order to raise me she gave up a lot; her relationship with her father, college, her 20s, and so much more.
She’s been the best sister/mother/guardian/everything to OP and that’s who she wants to have walk her down the aisle.
A few months ago I got engaged and I told my sister that in addition to being my maid of honor, I also wanted her to be the one to walk me down the aisle. All my life she’s had to fulfill so many roles for me — big sister, mother, father, friend — that it only felt right that those multiple roles be honored on one of the biggest days of my life.
My sister was ecstatic and so was I, but when I brought it up with my fiance he objected.
Her fiancee and his family think is “weird” and not traditional. They assumed that her future father-in-law would do the honors.
My future in-laws are very traditional and my fiance had always expected that his wedding would be a very traditional white wedding. He said that it was great that my sister was my MOH, but that her having two roles wasn’t and that it wasn’t appropriate for her to walk me down the aisle since that’s usually done by a man. Apparently, his family had assumed that my future father-in-law would be the one to give me away since I don’t have any male relatives.
I told him that I appreciate his father being willing to fill that role, but that the one who make me the person I am is my sister and so it’s right that she be the one to give me away. It turned into an argument that’s spread to my in-laws. My MIL called me a few days ago to say that although she understand how important my sister is to me, that it’s also my fiance’s wedding and I shouldn’t be putting my sister before him on his day.
OP’s sister doesn’t want to cause drama and says she’s fine with only maid-of-honor duties, but OP doesn’t want to give in.
I definitely heard her on that, but this is still important to me. At this point, my sister has even said that she doesn’t mind just being the MOH and that she doesn’t want to turn my happy day into something stressful.
So now it’s just me holding out and being stubborn, but I really don’t want to concede on this point.
Am I being the AH?
Does Reddit think she should stand her ground or not? Let’s find out!
The top commenter reminds OP she’s marrying the whole family.
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The second comment suggests OP definitely die on this hill.
Image Credit: Reddit
This comment wonders what his family is thinking, honestly.
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And this person is calling it like they see it.
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They say this could definitely get ugly down the line.
Image Credit: Reddit
I would die on this hill, too.
Your wedding, your family, your choice.
