I think we can all accept that weddings make people a little bit crazy. Even folks who are normally pretty even-keeled can get more sensitive and say things that they later regret, which is how situations like this one arise.
OP has a sister-in-law who she admits is pretty, invests in her appearances, and enjoys dressing nicely.
She says she doesn’t begrudge the woman any of these things.
I (30F) recently got married to Matt (30). Matt has a stepsister, Tiffany (28F). I have met her less than 10 times in the five years I dated Matt as she doesn’t live nearby and is not close to my husband. However, she was invited to our wedding.
I should mention that Tiffany is very attractive. She is pretty, with a currently fashionable body type, she also dresses well and spends money on her appearance. This is well known and even though I’ve only met her a few times whenever she is brought up by my in laws she always mentioned as being very invested in her image.
I don’t begrudge her this at all.
Then, the sister-in-law showed up at her wedding looking fabulous enough to be the talk of the room for most of the night, leaving the bride feeling jealous and upstaged.
She says she muscled through and went on her honeymoon determined to just let it go, as they rarely see the relative in the first place.
The ceremony went fine, but afterwards, while my in laws were congratulating me, my FIL commented that I looked beautiful, and in the next breath mentioned Tiffany did, too. His wife caught his eye and shook her head, but I ignored it.
When Tiffany came over to say congratulations, she looked stunning. Her dress was beautiful and fitted her perfectly, her hair and make up looked like they’d been done professionally, and she was wearing a pair of obviously designer shoes. Her outfit was totally appropriate for the event, but I was still weirdly upset by how she looked and immediately felt self conscious next to her.
Even Matt told her she looked great, and they rarely talk. For the rest of the night, every single male guest at the wedding asked about Tiffany, who she was, how I know her, if she was single, etc.
By the speeches, I was fed up and almost in tears, and even the best man mentioned her in his speech off the cuff. I let it go, went on my honeymoon, and tried to forget the whole thing.
Apparently, though, the next time they saw her – and she had gotten engaged, to boot – OP couldn’t help making a snide comment.
The SIL laughed it off and even apologized, and everyone moved on.
We came back about a week ago, and this past weekend had dinner with my in laws. Tiffany was visiting, and we learned that she had got engaged. She showed us her comically large ring and said she was planning to have the wedding next year and that it would be a black tie event.
Before I could stop myself, I jokingly said that I was pretty sure I’d already been to her wedding, I was the one in the white dress. She asked what I meant, and I thought there was no point in lying so I just admitted I felt she upstaged me at my wedding.
She laughed and said you can’t upstage a bride. I asked if I could wear white to her wedding then and she shrugged and said ‘if you think it’ll help’. She then apologised if I felt her outfit was inappropriate.
My in laws moved the conversation on and we went on with dinner.
Everyone except OP’s husband, who thinks OP made herself and him look bad with her petty remarks.
When we got home my husband blew up on me, saying I embarrassed him by being petty and jealous of Tiffany. He said he doesn’t even like her but even he knows she can’t do anything about what she looks like or the clothes she can afford, and I made myself look bitter and childish, and him by association.
He wants her to apologize, but OP doesn’t really think she did anything wrong.
I admit it wasn’t my best moment, but I thought he would at least understand how I felt given that he heard everyone’s comments that night.
He’s demanding I apologise to Tiffany and his parents but I don’t think I said anything that heinous. AITA?
Did she? Reddit’s weighing in!
The top comment (and many others) were convinced the SIL was actually awesome.
Image Credit: Reddit
Many suggested a bit of confidence would go a long way for OP, too.
Image Credit: Reddit
It sounds to this person like the SIL has done nothing wrong, and quite a bit right.
Image Credit: Reddit
This comment points out that the SIL is still upstaging OP on Reddit.
Image Credit: Reddit
They suggest that OP change her attitude and make her SIL a friend, instead.
Image Credit: Reddit
This whole post just oozes petty jealousy.
Not a good look for anyone, really.
