Let me tell you a secret, everyone – not all relationships are meant to last forever. There is no shame in calling it quits early on, either, if you realize your values, morals, or other preferences just don’t align.
OP here is from a strict Muslim background, though he claims to be “not that religious” himself. He mentions that his girlfriend is American and not the modest kind, which has caused a few awkward bumps in what he describes as an otherwise smooth road.
So me (26M) and my Girlfriend (22F) have been dating for around 2 years now. We’ve had our ups and downs but overall we have a great relationship, and I definitely see a future together! We really love and respect each other and connect well! But the thing is we come from different backgrounds. I come from a Muslim Background (I’m not ‘that’ religious tho) and she is White. However, we have still made it work and our similarities are much more than our differences.
Now my gf does like wearing a bit short clothing when out and about, which used to bother me at first and made me uncomfortable and we did have a few minor fights over it, but eventually I came to terms with it.
Recently they had a bump that he describes as “a bit embarrassing,” and it happened at his family’s pool party.
He spoke with her ahead of time about making a modest bathing suit choice, and so was shocked to see her arrive in a “cheeky” bikini. OP was so mortified he couldn’t look at or speak to his family!
However, recently an embarrassing situation happened. There was a pool party at my cousin’s house, and my parents were there too. I had recently introduced my gf to my parents as well, so this was a good time for to meet family and relatives. I specifically told her to please pack something more on the modest side, as my family would be there (and most women usually don’t wear such revealing stuff in our culture). She didn’t give much of a response and just nodded.
But what did I see in the pool? Her wearing a two piece bikini (with kinda cheeky bottoms too)! Even one piece would’ve been more better, but nah she went all in this time! She was probably the one the dressed most immodestly.
When he confronted her about it afterward she said she wasn’t Muslim and would wear what she wanted when she wanted, end of story.
No one said anything but afterwards, I was so embarrassed I couldn’t show my face to my parents and all.
I did talk to her about it and scolded her a bit, and she told me “She can wear whatever the hell she wants, whenever she wants.”
Now they’re not speaking and he’s wondering whether or not his expectations really were out of line.
I couldn’t say anything afterwards. We’ve been quiet to each other for a while but slowly making up now.
AITA?
Reddit is going to have some really interesting thoughts on this one, I just know it!
The top comment backs the gf, 100%.
The second comment says that just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should, and knowing the preferences of your hosts is just good manners.
This person says that no one is wrong or right, but this could be a case of values just not aligning.
They say you can’t change someone, and this is a big change.
This comment says that maybe it’s just a matter of better communication between parties.
I’m not sure this relationship is going to work out.
Better to find out earlier than later though.