Sometimes, you can just tell…

Maybe it’s a subtle remark or the way they react to something, but it sets off an internal alarm…

I’m talking about signs that scream out to you that someone is a horrible person.

Check out what AskReddit users had to say about this.

Definitely.

“They use intimate/vulnerable things you share with them against you.

Growing up my dad taught me the what he called the “Intimacy rule”. Effectively its a definition for love.

To love someone is to know everything about them that can hurt them viscerally if used against them, and to never, for any reason use this knowledge against them.

This is such a valuable tenant to live by. I’m so grateful that is was taught to me.”

See it all the time.

“Only being nice to people who can be useful to them.

In other words, they ignore Kant’s categorical imperative, paraphrased: “treat others not just as means to an end but an end unto themselves”.”

So gross.

“When they love making other people look bad … constantly calling people out.

Putting others down.

Disrespecting hospitality workers.”

Bad news.

“Constantly talking s**t about whatever friends are not present at the time.

My friend does this and I wonder what she says about me when I’m not around.”

Not my fault.

“Lack of accountability. It’s always someone else’s fault.”

Our childhood best friend is like this, you could watch him punch himself in the face and he’d blame someone else. It’s honestly crazy the mental gymnastics he can do.

He was never this bad but it’s like adulthood just came too quick for him and he can’t handle it. (We’re all in our 30s).”

Huge red flag.

“They are proud of their trashy behaviors. Everywhere is their personal trash can.

Choosing beggar. Attention seeker. Thinks that everyone owes them everything. Is only kind to others, when cameras are present.

Treats service employees as second-class people. Turns people against other people. Everything is about something polarizing to them.”

I am who I am.

“They don’t change as a person because they claim that people have to accept them for who they are, even if they are horrible human beings.”

Pieces of s**t.

“How they treat animals

Dogs, cats, wildlife.

I have been in the car with people who actively try to hit any animal they see crossing the street

That kind of s**t.”

Gaslighting.

“When they gaslight you or manipulate you into questioning your reality.

And then you react, and it seems as though you’re the bad guy.

The mind games aren’t funny, just a sanity f**k.”

Not cool.

“Parental tampering.

Any parent that would leverage a child against the other parent, or use visitation as a punishment / reward system is nigh unforgivable.”

Nailed it.

“From experience:

Every relationship ends poorly, and it’s always somehow the other person’s fault

They take credit for every positive outcome and throw around blame for every negative outcome

“Diagnosing” people they don’t like with things like schizophrenia, narcissism, psychopathy, etc to prove / explain why those people are so bad

Using minor things like split bills and paying them back for something as a means of extorting money from you (like buying something without consulting you then demanding you pay them back for said purchase, or making you pay the full price of something you agreed to split payment on)

“Everybody leaves me”

casual threats/guilt tripping (“I won’t talk to you until you do the dishes” “if you don’t tell me, I’ll make you sleep on the couch”)

assuming that when you’re talking about something hurtful someone did, you’re talking about them

assuming that all apologies are disingenuous because that’s how their apologies are

using apologies to get what they want

using things that have nothing to do with the circumstance as a means of avoiding taking accountability for a minor problem (“sorry I’ve been ghosting you over important things, my cat has fleas and it’s just making me so stressed out and depressed rn :/“)

not communicating boundaries and then getting mad at you for crossing said unknown boundary acting like it was something you should have just guessed (“i’m terrified of starfish and you showed me a picture of a starfish, i hate you and you should have known better even though i never once told you this. It’s your problem, not mine”)

not communicating when they’re upset with you and just talking behind your back about it instead

considers every form of accountability you take as an excuse, because that’s how they handle problems

unable to move past minor infractions years later / still talking s**t about people they cut off years ago

thinking it’s ok to do / say questionable or harmful things because “well someone did / said this to me and as a victim I’m allowed to do / say it to other people”

acting like them purposely antagonizing someone they’ve cut off is them “taking the power back”.”

Be careful out there, folks!