‘He says he wants a DNA test because he counted the days and when I got pregnant he was in jail.’ Should She Forgive Her Partner For Wanting A DNA Test?

Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship, and once it’s been broken, I imagine most people wonder whether or not they can ever get it back.

OP and her partner have come a long way recovering from addiction and making a life together – one that even includes their brand-new daughter.

I 37(f) just had a beautiful daughter with my partner 36(m) last Tuesday. She is perfect and we absolutely adore her. My partner is so happy and was very supportive during pregnancy and labor. Everything was perfect or so I thought.

We have only been together for 18 months and things moved quickly for us. We started living together after only 3 months and have been inseparable since. Even working in the same factory together until I went on maternity leave.

My partner and I are both recovering addicts. I have 3 years and he has 2 1/2 years sober. We have completely turned our lives around and have the life I never thought possible.

There has never been cheating on either side but yes there can be some jealousy issues.

Now that you have some history here is the problem..

The day they arrived home from the hospital, OP woke up from a nap to her partner asking her if she would get a DNA test.

We came home from the hospital Friday and I was exhausted so he took the baby while I slept. When I wake up he says you know I love you right?”

I immediately get worried, then he says he wants a DNA test because he counted the days and when I got pregnant he was in jail. (he is still on probation and was driving without a license)

This is not true I got pregnant 2 months after he got home and the cherry on top is we were actively trying to have a baby. I’m absolutely devastated and automatically felt different about him.

I was tired and emotional so I just cried. He is saying he doesn’t trust me and I am angry now.

She was upset, but they went ahead and got the test, despite her being resentful of losing $200 they could have spent on something else.

OP wonders if someone got into his head or it’s because their daughter doesn’t really look like him, but either way, she’s not sure she can get over the request.

We went yesterday to take the test and he paid $200. I’m not working and that’s money we need. Our baby has jet black hair and he has blonde hair blue eyes. Mine is dirty blonde.

He says he just wants to be sure and has issues because of past relationships. I feel lost and unsure if i will ever feel the same about him. I don’t have anyone to talk to about this because i am embarrassed, so I came here. Thank you for any advice. Sorry so long.

Tdlr: me and SO actively tried to have a baby then after she is born he wants a DNA test. Need advice.

Should she? Reddit has some surprising advice!

A lot of people were really hung up on how their math could be that far apart.

While others were ready to supply anecdotal evidence that hair and eye color at birth don’t mean much.

This person, though, thinks OP should give him some grace, given their pasts.

This commenter agrees, stating that he likely doesn’t trust himself more than he doesn’t trust her.

Either way, they think doing the test was the right move.

I hope OP and her family are going to be ok.

I would hate for a bump in the road to derail them before they really got started.