Weddings are a weird occasion in which the people who invite you can tell you what to do, how to act, how to dress, who to bring, and pretty much every other aspect on “their” day.
OP has a recently-adult daughter who is allowed to make her own clothing choices, whether or not Mom agrees.
My daughter is 18, Emma. Before she turned 18 we had a rule that I could ask them to change if the outfit wasn’t appropriate. Rarely happened because I truly didn’t care as long as the main parts were covered.
Now when they turned 18, they are an adult and most of the house rules didn’t really apply.
They were both invited to a wedding for a girl they have known for a long time – so all parties were aware of their modest and religious preferences, even before the invitation arrived that explicitly stated the dress code.
We were invited to a wedding to a close friend, my daughter is friend with her daughter and I am friends with the mother.
They are religious, I know this and she knows this. It was a church and the invite said modest, no cleavage, knee length and so on. I didn’t expect anything else.
OP’s daughter showed her a not-so-modest dress and OP pointed out it did not follow the bride’s family’s request.
Well a few weeks ago Emma showed what dress she was going to wear and I mentioned that it won’t work, the dress was cute but strapless.
I thought she would change it but didn’t. So on the day of the wedding she wore that, I even commented that it won’t work again. She said it will be fine.
The daughter said it would be fine, but it wasn’t – she was booted at the door and asked not to return.
Well we get there and her friends brother stopped her at the door, she tried to argue but got kicked out. I still went to the wedding.
I got home today and she called me an a$$ for not defending her and staying at the wedding with their old school dress code
OP stayed and celebrated with their friends. Her daughter thinks she should have stuck up for her more.
The top comment says these are her consequences, not OP’s.
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This person says part of being an adult is taking accountability.
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This comment says the daughter had no reason to expect anyone to defend her choices here.
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They say no one becomes an adult overnight.
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This person says maybe she will learn her lesson. Maybe.
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This one is just kind of funny, because she had to know what would happen.
And if she didn’t, I guess she knows for next time.