Money has a way of changing things between people, whether it’s family, friends, or romantic relationships.
Sometimes for the better but mostly not.
OP went no contact with the majority of her family after an incident in which her sister stole her fiance and their parents took her side.
My family situation is messy. I (25F) was engaged four years ago to my high school sweetheart. My fiancé cheated on me with my sister (28F). We had never had a good relationship even as kids, so after I found out, I went scorched earth both of them.
She was “so in love” with my fiancé, but he dumped her within two weeks and was back trying to get me to forgive him (I didn’t).
My parents were initially on my side, but my sister had a nervous breakdown after she was dumped and was hospitalized so they changed their tune to “it’s over now and you can’t be mad forever”.
So I dumped them, too, and went to grad school on the other side of the country.
The only person who understood why that was messed up was her grandfather. So, when he got sick she found a remote job and moved home to take care of him.
She had spoken to her parents only as far as letting them spend time with him in his old age.
My grandfather was livid with the whole thing, disowned my sister, and chewed out my parents. Sometimes it felt like he was the only one who was on my side and understood.
I was able to get my job to let me work remotely and moved back to take care of him when he got sick last fall and I was devastated when he passed a couple of months ago.
I had been in limited contact with my parents since I came back mostly because I didn’t want to be an obstacle to my dad seeing my grandfather, but with the understanding that any discussion of my sister or what happened would end that.
After his death she realized he had left all of his money to her – and it was a lot of money.
It turns out that my grandfather left me virtually everything. He left enough for my father to cover a debt and some token stuff for a couple of other relatives, but he wrote a letters for everyone and did a video tape with his attorney explaining what his intentions were.
I knew that he had done well for himself, but he lived a pre simple lifestyle so I didn’t realize how much money and assets he really had. I would give it all up to have my papaw back but even after taxes it is set for life money.
Her parents think she’s being selfish by not sharing the money equitably but OP really doesn’t want to share. Mostly because it’s not what her grandfather wanted but also because she doesn’t think they deserve it.
My parents are pretty mad about it. One of the reasons stated for cutting them out was how disappointed my grandfather was with how they had treated me growing up vs my sister and over the fiance debacle. There were other reasons, but that’s what they’re fixated on.
The will is pretty airtight apparently, so my parents want me to “do the right thing” and share it equally between me, them, and my sister. Their argument is that I don’t need it. I make more than both of them combined and this would allow them to retire.
My sister is not doing great and can’t hold a job, so this would ensure she has something for when my parents pass.
I don’t want to. My grandfather’s wishes were crystal clear, and also I kind of don’t feel like doing more than the minimum for any of them. They’ve been telling me that I’m being vindictive because of a mistake years ago.
I can’t deny there might be a little vindictiveness there. I don’t want them to suffer necessarily, but I also don’t feel like they deserve my help.
Is she being petty? Let’s find out what Reddit thinks!
The top comment reaffirms that OP is only following her grandfather’s wishes.
This person says grandpa probably knew exactly what he was doing.
And this commenter tells OP they have done the right thing so far, so keep going.
They have a whole suggestion as to what to say.
This person says there is zero reason to feel guilty.
Source: Reddit/AITA
This girl is proof that karma exists.
I hope she has a wonderful life.