Weddings are personal events, and everyone who attends knows going in that the day is about the bride and the groom and their vision for celebrating their union.
That said, your guests to have the right to decline attending if they don’t like the rules.
OP is 34 weeks pregnant. In the American South. In the summer.
The dress code is black tie, floor length dresses with long sleeves for the ladies. The wedding and receptions are going to be outdoors during the day, and OP doesn’t see how she will manage the heat in her condition.
I 25f am having a conflict with my husbands sister 36f. She is getting married in 2 weeks and her dress code is incredibly complicated to adhere to for me. It is black tie, long sleeves and floor length gowns.
The conflict happened because I am currently 34 weeks pregnant and overheat very quickly, and the wedding is entirely outside, in the middle of the day, in the southern USA where it is incredibly hot, I cannot be in a long sleeve floor length gown in the heat for 8 hours.
She sent the bride some options she thought could be a good compromise, but the bride shot them all down. At that point OP said she wasn’t going to be able to come because it would be a risk to her health.
I have sent her a few dresses to try to compromise which I will link in the comments for further information but she is completely adamant about exactly what she wants.
I told her yesterday that I cannot attend her wedding if she is not going to budge even slightly on the dress code. I told her she has the right to have her wedding exactly how she wants it, for it to be her perfect day but I have the right to look out for my own health.
The bride blew up at OP, but she’s not backing down.
She freaked out at me and told me I was being incredibly selfish and that “for once it isn’t about me and my f**king baby” which she only said because she’s jealous I’m having the first grandchild and she felt like she should have had a baby before me and my husband.
Since then my husbands side of the family has told me I’m being selfish and to just compromise one day to keep the peace. I don’t think I should need to compromise my health for her wedding.
Am I the a$$hole and being unreasonable?
Does Reddit think she should? They’re sounding off!
The top comment says the judgement should be simple.
This person who has been pregnant says absolutely not (to the dress code).
Most non-pregnant people felt the same.
They say the bride and groom should have an ambulance on standby.
This commenter says the bride is unhinged.
It should go without saying that your own health should be paramount, especially when pregnant.
Also, you don’t have to attend a wedding. Full stop. No reason required.