All parents know that it’s their job to protect their kids, but we can never really know what that is going to encompass until we travel the road through their childhood.
OP’s daughter took a job babysitting for a couple hours a day. She was working for a neighbor and things were going well; she really enjoyed having the extra cash.
I (F40s) have a daughter Taylor (F16).
During Summer holidays (we live in the UK), our neighbour Jenny (F30s) put her kids, (F9, M7) in holiday club. She asked if Taylor could walk them home from holiday club and babysit for 2 hours, 5 days a week, so that she can stay later at work.
Taylor agreed and Jenny has been paying her £40 a week for this. My daughter is just happy to have extra money to fund her Starbucks and Amazon addiction.
Then, the neighbor called basically accusing the daughter of stealing a bracelet. OP knew she hadn’t done it but agreed to question her.
She also told the woman her daughter would not be babysitting anymore.
In August, Jenny called me. She explained that a valuable silver bracelet has gone missing from her bedroom. She claimed no one else has been in her house and she thinks Taylor has taken it, and asked if I could search Taylors things.
I know I sound like a typical doting parent but I know my daughter and she wouldn’t do something like that. I was shocked.
I told Jenny I’d look but that Taylor is not babysitting for her again. She was angry and she said that me and my daughter are screwing her over and she doesn’t have other arrangements (shes a single mother), and she called me childish names before hanging up.
Her daughter did not know anything about the bracelet and was upset with her mom for being so “controlling” and pulling her from the job.
I later calmly explained to Taylor what happened and that I don’t want her to babysit for our neighbour again, as she might accuse her of stealing other things and demand money.
Taylor said I’m being controlling and that she ‘needs’ the money, and keeps trying to convince me that it’s still a good gig.
The neighbor eventually apologized, stating that her sister took and pawned the bracelet, and OP is wondering whether or not she was wrong.
Last week Jenny texted me profusely apologising and explained that it was actually her sister who stole the bracelet and she pawned it. I left her on read as I don’t really know what to say.
I feel crappy that I’ve managed to upset everyone and I need outside opinions.
Reddit is good at unraveling these complicated situations!
The top comment says that OP would be the jerk if she did put her daughter back in that situation.
This person says the same thing, and suggests the daughter would enjoy knowing there are better options out there.
They say this is a great teaching moment for her daughter.
This commenter agrees that, regardless of feelings, the ship has sailed.
And this person worries what the person would accuse her daughter of next time.
Mom did the right thing.
Which, as we know, isn’t always the popular decision.