Blending families takes a lot of work – at least, it does if you’re doing it right.
It takes time and care, understanding and patience, and I’m pretty sure almost no one would agree that refuses to let all of the kids meet until they’re set to move in together is a recipe for disaster.
OP watches her own two children and her older niece and nephew after school for a small amount of money. She likes spending time with them so it’s always been a no-brainer.
I (27f) am a stay at home mom to my two little boys ages 5 and 1. I also take care of my sister’s two children ages 8 and 6 after school and during summer break.
She sends snacks for all the kids and pays me a small amount of money. I never asked for a lot because it was never a big deal to me and I enjoy seeing my niece and nephew.
Now, her sister is getting married and will acquire two stepchildren in the process. She asked OP to watch them, too, so all of the kids would be together.
But now things have changed. My sister is engaged and her future husband lives out of state with his two children. My sister already told me they were hoping I would take care of them.
I asked when I would be meeting the kids and she said they fly in just before the wedding and I would start right away.
OP said she wanted to meet the kids first and get to know them a little, as she wouldn’t be comfortable otherwise.
I told her I would like to get to know the kids first and she said they want to start out on the right path with being a blended family and that means treating the kids the same. She said they want them to have that after school time together.
I told her I understood but I would not be comfortable taking care of the kids for extended periods of time when I do not know them and will have met them one or two times before they would be placed in my care and I would not be comfortable.
Her sister refused, told her to just embrace the chaos, and then got angry and called OP rude when she refused.
My sister asked why I can’t just embrace a big change and throw myself in. I told her if she was willing to give me some time to get to know the kids… she said no. So I told her firmly that she would need to find someone else to take care of the kids.
My sister told me I was really showing that I only consider family those who are related by blood. But I would feel the same if my brother came back home after several years and asked me to watch his kids who I have never met and they’re blood related. For me it’s just a position that requires a close, existing relationship for me to be okay with it.
AITA though?
She said in a comment that her sister’s plan is to have all of the kids meet in the few days before the wedding, when they move to a different state and into her house. Woof.
She knows the kids have yet to meet and won’t be meeting until he flies out for the wedding which is when he’s moving him and the kids in with my sister.
So that could be part of why she’s being this way.
She doesn’t want me to question if the kids will get along okay.
Does Reddit think OP should suck it up? Let’s see!
The top comment wonders whether or not OP’s sister might be hiding something.
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This person agrees that the sister is being completely unreasonable.
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They don’t think OP is in the wrong, but do hope she’ll keep an eye on the kids when she can.
Image Credit: Reddit
This commenter says OP is right to maintain their boundaries.
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And this person says the sister is shockingly manipulative.
Image Credit: Reddit
Six kids is a lot for one person to handle.
Two of them strangers and little money to boot? Get out of here.