If you listen to Reddit, it seems there are a disproportionate amount of men out there who actually think running a household is an easy thing to do.
It’s infuriating no matter what your situation as a woman.
OP married his wife, an immigrant who was in the country on a student visa, when they were finishing up college.
She never got to finish her degree because of financing issues, and in order to be able to stay in the country, she married OP.
I (30M) have a wife (30F) and a daughter (7F). I work in finance and my wife is a stay at home mom as I earn sufficient for the both of us.
My wife is a great SAHM and takes great care of our house. I was lucky to buy a home as I earn well in a medium cost of living city.
My wife and I met in college but she was an international student studying physics and computer science and she had issues with her loan from her home country and could not afford to complete it and we got married then so she could stay.
Initially she wanted to complete it later after finding the funds but she agreed to be a SAHM when I got a good job and I appreciate that a lot as we were able to have a kid early on even while I was both completing my masters and working full time.
He got a good job, she got pregnant, and they agreed she would stay at home to raise their daughter.
He doesn’t think it’s funny how she likes to point out that she does all of this hard work at home and insinuates that he could never do it himself without her.
I love my wife but she finds it humorous to say that I am incapable of doing household tasks, we had agreed that she would do them when we decided she would stay at home but I do stuff occasionally when we are both home if she asks me to, but then if I say load the dishwasher for her she will claim I did it wrong just because I do it different than she does (it still cleans well).
So, he decided to call her out on it, saying that he was smart and good with numbers and absolutely could run the household with the same efficiency that she did.
The other day we were eating and she told me about her day and how she went grocery shopping and optimized the cost by buying specific items at specific stores and accounting for the cost of traveling to each store and she said that I would never be able to do that and said it in a “what would you ever do without me?” kind of way.
I replied back saying that of course I could do it, I handle complex decisions and calculations at my work as I work in finance and that I have a masters degree and what I do involves more intellect than household operations even though I acknowledge and appreciate what she does, I would be capable if the roles were reversed.
She got angry, feeling like he was belittling her intelligence, and reminded him that if she had been able to finish her degree she would be a high earner as well.
She got angry and seemed to think I was calling her stupid when I wasn’t and then cried and now I feel like an AH.
She said she was a very good student and had she graduated she would be in my position as well.
He’s wondering what he said that was so wrong, but he clearly seems to know it was something.
I think Reddit is going to have some choice words for this guy…
The top comment wonders whether or not OP has tried putting himself in his wife’s shoes.
Image Credit: Reddit
Many thought it was high time OP offer to support her going back to finish her degree.
Image Credit: Reddit
This person thinks it sounds like OP might have trapped this woman on purpose.
Image Credit: Reddit
This commenter agrees that OP is most definitely in the wrong here.
Image Credit: Reddit
And this comment seems to agree.
Image Credit: Reddit
Am I crazy or people WAY overreacting here?
She acted like he couldn’t do what she does… even though all she’s doing is math.
That it’s people… she doing basic math.
What would possess anybody to tell another adult that they can’t do that?
And then he said he could do it and that his job is more complex. Because it probably is.
I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.