It’s no secret that the dating world – and particularly the online dating world – can be more than a little bit sleazy. I think, though, that most don’t realize it can get quite as slimy as it often does.
If OP didn’t, she does now. She’s been dating off and on and met a man in the country on a tourist visa. They had fun, had good chemistry and a good connection, so she decided a fling would totally be worth her time.
Context: I’m a woman in my 30s with a reasonably good corporate type job in a field with lots of room for growth and am recently back into the dating scene after a decade. I’m kind of a “would be a 10 if she lost 30 lbs” looking girl, beautiful face if a bit chubby, but I never have issues getting a date. I’m not well off but I’m stable and have a bit of spending money. I live in a large multicultural city and my ex was an immigrant so I’m open to dating people of any origin.
What happened: A few weeks ago I met a very charming man from a Latin American country only a couple years younger than me. Seemed very sweet, cuddly, intelligent, family oriented, emotionally available, educated and in a good profession back home in his country and had a lot in common with me.
Chemistry seemed amazing inside and outside the bedroom. He was honest that he was in my country on a tourist visa but hoping to stay.
I made it clear I wouldn’t be able to help him with that but we’d have a fun summer fling while he was here. If he managed to stay or come back, only then would we consider a real relationship.
Then, he hit her with a request to be her sugar baby. OP acted like it was a joke but he said it wasn’t – at least, until she began to insult him.
Then the other shoe dropped.
A couple weeks and 4 dates in, During a text conversation about my work, he asked me to be his sugar mommy. I initially laughed and assumed it was a joke. He kept pushing and clearly said it wasn’t.
Of course, feeling insulted by this, I went off on him.
He maintained it as a serious ask until I hit a nerve with my complaints about how embarrassed he should be to ask me that. Then he got angry and insulted me for thinking he was serious about it.
No apology for being hurtful to me.
Afterward she was so upset she was sharing the screenshots with her friends. They decided to check him out online and quickly learned OP wasn’t the only person he’d tried this on.
So, they contacted everyone he knew and uploaded the receipts for his behavior. He even turned out to be a married father.
Obviously what I did next was take screenshots and cry about it to my closest friends. I was hurt that I was fooled into thinking he liked me and that he thought I needed to pay for a man. My friends started the fuse on what happened next.
One of my friends started snooping more on his online presence, together we found about 6 different Instagram accounts that were him using different variations of his name and different photos of himself all uploaded in batches.
On Facebook, a similar pattern. All very scammy and suspicious looking. He’d been foolish enough on one of his profiles though to follow and tag the employer that he was working for illegally on his tourist visa in my country.
So I contacted another close friend in a local law enforcement agency that works with immigration. She looked up his file, he had a wife and daughter at home!
OP wasn’t done, though, and also reported everything she knew to immigration.
Next step?
Online immigration reporting form with all the info we found; work info, employer name and address, his home address, full name, dob, photos, screenshots admitting to working. Usually these reports take months to be reviewed if at all but I gave the file number to my law enforcement friend.
Two days later, law enforcement officers visited him at home. They found him with a phone number that was issued to a local resident. All his roommates also had numbers issued to the same person, a direct link to the employer.
He received a caution for trying to scam me, a no contact order and a flag on his immigration file that based on his country of origin will likely mean he can never return as well as a strict warning to not work without authorisation.
He, his roommates, and his employer are all taking heat, and it’s unlikely he’ll ever be able to re-enter the country once he leaves.
His roommates also received warnings. His employer received a visit next.
They found significant proof that they’d been employing him illegally as well as multiple other people. Their investigation is still ongoing but so far they are likely to receive tens of thousands in fines or possible jail time.
The guy isn’t getting deported because the government would have to pay for it and proceedings take longer than his remaining visa time but he’s now upgraded from a flagged file to a multi year ban on reentry to my country. If he bothers me again though he will be deported as well.
Hope he enjoys going back to his angry wife and the ridicule from everyone he knows.
See ya again never!
Boom. I bet Reddit is going to think this is a bit more than pro-level revenge.
They really appreciate the full-course meal.
No one is going to mess with OP.
They’re writing her songs!
Some people have trouble believing it, honestly.
Some people do think she went too far.
I don’t know.
Go big or go home, right?