Pregnancy can be a really tough time, and not just for the woman gestating the baby, either – the stress can radiate to her partner, especially if the pregnancy is particularly hard.
OP is having one of those rough early pregnancies, and has been sick enough to warrant a week-long stay in the hospital.
I (26f) recently moved into my first home. I am also 4 months pregnant with our first baby.
The pregnancy has been very hard. I have horrible morning sickness. It reached a really bad point where I passed out hit my head and my Dr admitted me to the hospital for a week.
She returned home to find her brother-in-law and his family had moved into her two spare bedrooms. One had been her office and the papers were just tossed into her room.
When I got home my husband allowed his brothers family to move into 2 of our 3 bedrooms. (They were evicted i dont know why).
One room was My office was tossed into our room papers every where. The house was a complete wreck. Trash, dirty clothes, used diapers.
I started to cry.
The rest of the house was a complete disaster and though OP was very upset, her husband acted like it was no big deal. She told him to clean it up, then went to lie down.
It was like a light flipped my husband was no longer the same. My husband told me it “wasn’t that bad”. My reply was “fine then you should have the house cleaned up before I wake up.”
Completely exhausted I fell asleep for 4 hrs.
He did not clean it up; she had to wash dishes the next day to get a drink of water. When he continued to act as if she was blowing thing out of proportion, she called her mother and told her everything.
I woke up and went to get a drink of water. I couldn’t because every glass we own is scattered around the house. They didn’t clean a single thing. I passive aggressively started to pick up the dirty dishes and washed them.
The following morning. I was trying my best to work when their kids were crying non stop. Banging on the walls so on. Their mom was in her room for hours ignoring them.
When my husband came home. He was upset with me over how I didn’t make his brother’s wife feel welcome in our home. By helping with their kids when she was tired. Then continued to complain how nothing was done while he was at work all day in the house. Yep the same one he didn’t clean.
That lead to a fight where I told him. “I am too sick to have company and they need to leave”. To which he replied they are his family and he won’t kick them out.
I started to cry again. I was beyond frustrated, exhausted, I physically couldn’t do it anymore.
I called my mom asking if I could come stay with her. Telling her the whole story in front of my husband. Who at this point was completely shocked, Angry, also I could tell he wasn’t sure what to do.
Her mom and brothers showed up to clean and give the in-laws a piece of their mind.
My mom came with my brother’s (I have 3 older brothers). My mom super angry told my husband. “Since your family can stay so can we.”
My mom quickly took charge. I was sent to bed.
My brother’s started cleaning complaining loudly at how disgusting my BIL family is. Along with what a horrible husband my husband is for putting me through this while I am sick.
At first, OP’s mother-in-law called to complain about OP’s treatment of her sons, but when she saw the condition of the house, turned on them, too.
I got a text message from my MIL for calling me an A for not helping my husband clean up the house and putting my BIL in a uncomfortable position by having my mom boss him around.
When my MIL showed up she was super angry outside. I could hear shouting but, couldn’t understand what was said.
Once inside she was shocked. My house looked really bad. My BIL lied to her about what happened. My MIL quickly started to help my mom in the bossing mode.
My house is not just cleaned but deep cleaned.
My mom and dad are here. Both mom’s felt like I should have someone here since I am sick. Both moms have set up a meal plan. Where they trade off who will bring in dinner.
It was my MIL idea.
Everyone cleaned. The moms made a meal plan for OP. The in-laws moved out (and might be getting a divorce).
My BIL and his kids are now staying with MIL. She didn’t know about the eviction. My in-laws helped them financially a couple of months ago. My MIL was not happy about it.
SIL refused to come out of the bedroom. She would scream through the door but that was about it until her family came to pick her up. Last little bit.
I did talk to my husband. He seemed very remorseful. I asked for some space and he is staying at a hotel. He asked to come by and talk to me tonight.
Update on BIL: his wife admitted to having and affair. She told him she got married too soon and doesn’t want the responsibilities of being a mom anymore. I am not sure what will happen with him and his kids but, I am shocked that she feels this way especially with her kids.
OP talked with her husband and is considering giving him another chance, though it’s not a given.
Talk with husband: summed up since it lasted 4 hrs. it was a hard talk. He is remorseful. Bil was only supposed to stay for a couple of nights. Then leave originally he thought they would be gone before I got home. He said he is tired and emotionally upset himself.
When I originally passed out, my husband left to help a friend move.
He came home and found me. He said he has no idea how long I was on the floor hurt. He was originally scared I had died. Since then he has had nightmares.
On top of dealing with his family drama. He admitted to dumping his frustration onto me. When it’s not my fault. He begged me for another chance.
The next steps. We are still separated. He plans on staying at my brother house in his casita.
We are going to go to marriage counseling and Individual counseling. He asked if he could come when the home health nurse comes each night and to my Dr’s appointments. I agreed to that.
Does Reddit think she should? We’re about to find out!
The top comment wishes OP didn’t even stop to wonder whether or not she’d done something wrong.
They say there is absolutely no excuse for it.
This commenter warns that the “switch” could have flipped when she got pregnant.
And this person, too, hopes she will decide to stay with her family until she can get back on her feet.
Either way, they want her to know this is not ok.
I hope that this is a one-time thing.
But I also hope OP took the advice and at least prepared for the worst.