There’s a learning curve for some people when it comes to how to be a good partner in a romantic relationship. If you haven’t had good role models or just haven’t had practice, it can be a bit of trial and error.
OP’s son is a young adult in a long-distance relationship with a girl they all like. He and his wife thought the young lady is good for their son, who seemed happy in the relationship, too.
So my son had a long-distance gf recently for about two years. She was great, a really nice girl and we all loved her welcomed her with open arms.
She was flying here constantly to visit him, like a weekend a month and he didn’t lift a finger to go visit her.
The issue that OP saw was that the young woman was making all of the effort as far as coming to visit and getting to know his son’s family and life.
I tried talking to him about it several times and told him he should really start looking into flying over to her instead of expecting her to do all the travelling.
He said no. And my wife probably had something to do with it as she constantly told him she was afraid of him flying.
Every time he spoke with his son about putting in more effort and going to visit her, the request fell on deaf ears.
I spoke to them both and said this girl is great for him, she was willing to move over to our country too, but said there was one condition and that was he’d have to fly over to her country too. Which is fair enough.
He even went so far as to tell them all that he didn’t see himself traveling anywhere, not ever, even for holidays or to visit her family.
He said no, he didn’t want to fly or travel anywhere.
My son was becoming lazier and lazier, eventually telling his gf and us that he was perfectly fine never travelling anywhere including holidays etc.
So, she dumped him.
Last week, he told us she’s dumped him. I went on her fb page as we’re all still friends (she wrote us an apology letter about how she’s upset it didn’t work out but these things happen, so we’re on good terms) and looks like she’s with a new guy already.
Me and my wife have no doubt she was seeing him whilst still in a relationship with my son.
OP told his son that he should have seen it coming and honestly, he didn’t blame the woman at all.
I confessed to him that I actually agree with her decision and he should have expected it. He did not treat her properly and I hope he learns lessons for the next one because he needs to make more of an effort.
I said he deserves it for his lack of effort in the relationship and for essentially just allowing this girl to spend all her money and time coming here all the time.
His wife and son thinks he’s being cruel but OP thinks his son needs to learn a lesson from this.
Wife and son are very upset that I said this. Very very upset and my wife says I am being horrible.
AITA? I stand by what I said.
Does Reddit think he should have just kept his mouth shut? Let’s find out!
The top comment says they think OP should also be concerned about this laziness.
This person thought the son would be much younger than 24.
This commenter agrees that OP was trying to impart some very important lessons.
And this person agrees the son really needs to grow up.
Everyone is on the girlfriend’s side, tbh.
Yeah, I hope this kid learns a lesson from this. Or several.
And that his mother doesn’t stand in the way.