Navigating parent-child relationships can be tricky for anyone, especially once they’re teenagers. A good sense of humor will go a long way, especially for your own sanity, but when your child might have insecurities from being adopted, you might want to tread lightly.
A lesson OP learned the hard way when his adopted daughter flung the dreaded “you’re not my dad” phrase at him in a moment of anger.
Note. My step-daughter, Madeline, was about a year old when I married her mother, Jessica. Madeline’s father died before she was born.
Madeline is currently 15, and she’s rebelling for almost everything. She did something bad, so while picking her up, I set a punishment up for her.
Then she said “You’re not my dad. I don’t have to follow you”.
Honestly, I got a bit hurt from that. But I understand that she didn’t mean it, and that she’d probably change.
He replied well in the moment, telling her calmly that he is her legal guardian.
I just replied “I’m still your legal guardian for the next 3 years, and as long as your in my house, you have to follow my rules.”
Later, though, the opportunity for a joke arose and he pounced.
That happened about 2 days ago. So our family was going grocery shopping, when Madeline said “I’m hungry. I need food.”
I decide to be extremely cheeky and say “Hi Hungry, I’m not your dad.”
Funny as the joke might have been, his daughter’s feelings seem to be hurt and his wife wasn’t all that amused, either.
My son just started to laugh uncontrollably. My daughter was just quiet with embarrassment. And my wife was berating me “Not to stoop down to her level.”
I honestly thought it was a funny dad joke. And my son agrees.
So AITA?
He’s asking Reddit for advice, and they’re always willing to dish it out.
The top comment says it wasn’t appropriate but it was funny.
This person disagrees, saying the daughter is old enough to know a joke when she hears one.
This commenter thinks sometimes a good joke is worth it.
They say you’ve got to know your audience.
However you slice it, it doesn’t have to be the end of the world.
Just because something is funny doesn’t mean you should say it.
That said, I think these two can manage to salvage things.