Pregnancy is supposed to be a time full of hope and joy (and sure, hormones and puking and fear and all of that, too).
It’s not supposed to be a time full of worrying that your baby’s father’s girlfriend is going to try to steal your children.
OP learned she was pregnant after her boyfriend had broken up with her and gotten back with his ex. He was happy about it, though, and so was his girlfriend, who experiences infertility.
I [29F] dated a guy Joe (30M) for 3 months before he left me to go back to his ex Kim (30F). Right after we broke up I found out I was pregnant and now I’m at 24 weeks. I let him know and he was ecstatic.
Turns out his girlfriend had fertility issues and would likely never be able to get pregnant naturally and he has always wanted to be a father.
Getting back together was out of the question for both of us so he’s still with his girlfriend.
OP learned she’s having twins, and after that appointment, the girlfriend began acting as if she had some say in the pregnancy.
Joe was only allowed at the initial appointment because of COVID-19 and we found out I was having twins. According to Joe when he told Kim she had a mental breakdown about her infertility, and wanted to talk to me.
I met them at their house and Kim stated that she wanted to be involved in my pregnancy because she would eventually be the children’s stepmother.
She started telling me that I needed to do a home birth, that I needed to formula feed so that they could have the babies half of the week, that she wanted one boy and one girl, and that she wanted the kid to call her Mama since they would be calling me Mommy.
She continued even after OP tried to shut her down.
I shut her down and said I would make the best choices for my children and my body and left.
Kim continued to be overbearing and texting me everyday about my eating habits, exercise habits, and complaining about how her job wouldn’t let her take maternity leave.
At the virtual genetics counseling appointment, she attended instead of Joe and took over the whole meeting trying to talk about her family history which wasn’t relevant.
The announcement/gender reveal was the last straw; the girlfriend held a party and did not even invite OP.
When it came time for my 20 week level 2 scan, they allowed me one guest and Joe suggested I take Kim instead of him, which I refused to do. Joe did end up coming and he found out the gender because I wanted to keep it a surprise for me so we could throw a gender reveal party.
I put a pregnancy announcement on my social media and then she put up an announcement saying they were expecting twins “the non-traditional way” and how blessed she was. I was irritated but I kept my mouth shut.
Then she threw a gender reveal party and posted it on social media. I wasn’t even invited. She also announced that she’s having a baby shower.
She told the girlfriend to stop treating her like a surrogate and advised that neither of them would have any contact with her or the babies until things had been resolved in family court after their births.
I commented on her posts and told her to stop treating me like a surrogate, that the kids weren’t hers, and that Joe didn’t have any claim or custody of the kids until they are born.
I then called Joe and reiterated all of this and stated that I would not be seeing either of them until we went to family court and that my mother would be my birthing partner.
He and Kim and some of her friends and family are saying I’m awful and her mother even called and insisted I give her one of my babies like this is the Parent Trap?
So AITA?
After the girlfriend found this Reddit post, she went completely haywire.
Someone sent this post to her and she came to my job, damaged my car, and broke a bunch of office windows.
I work with kids so she was arrested for not just the criminal damage and trespassing but also child endangerment so hopefully that works in my favor.
Also, if Joe did it on purpose, I don’t think Kim knew, because she was screaming at me about how I stole her life and everything I had was supposed to be hers.
I hope Reddit has some good advice for OP.
The top comment says they hope OP is being very careful.
This person can’t help but wonder whether or not this was all part of the plan.
They think OP should get as far away as she can.
People do not think she should mess around.
No one feels good about the dad’s role in it, either.
This feels like the beginning of a movie or novel.
The scary, psychological horror kind.