Although there are plenty of good foster parents out there, the sad truth is that there are a fair number of people who get into it for one wrong reason or another.
OP spent some time living with her sister and says it was a trying time that damaged their relationship badly. She took part of OP’s paychecks and expected her to spend her free time babysitting for free.
I’m a 28F and I have a sister (36F) For the sake of story, I’ll just call Jane. Jane is married to “Bob” and they have two kids, boy and a girl. My niece and nephew are wonderful kids and no trouble at all. They fight as siblings do but nothing big. I love them.
Now for about two years, I did live with my sister. It was a miserable time that really affected our relationship. She saw me as free labor, money and babysitting. Even when I managed to get a small part time job, she demanded I hand over nearly half my pay or get out. It was hell as she took completely advantage of me.
I moved out as soon as I could and we have little contact outside of family gatherings.
Now that OP has moved out, her sister has a new idea on how to get free labor – become a foster parents and get a teenager into the house.
Now after I moved out, she started complaining how “She has no help with the kids and never gets a break!”
I babysit sometimes but I have made it clear, just cause I am off work, doesn’t mean I want an 8 hour day with my niece and nephew.
Anyway she started talking about how she wanted to foster a kid. Not a kid but a teenager.
I pressed her for more info on this. She wants to adopt a teenager so she has a live in babysitter for her kids.
This is her logic: “I want a kid around 16 or 17, you know someone who may have been in the system for awhile. They can share a room with your nephew (she only has a three 3 bedroom house) or sleep in the garage. They can help me with house work, chores, cook and help me with my business.(She bakes and sells cookies) Also babysit the kids so me and Bob can go out sometimes or have some alone time. They’ll be so grateful for a home and won’t complain. I won’t have to pay them at all. And then when they turn 18, I can just sign up for another foster kid! A teenager will be so much easier than a little kid, they will be grateful just to have a roof, food, siblings if they have been separated from their real ones and clothes.”
OP told her it’s a terrible idea but when her sister wouldn’t listen, she told the social services lady the exact reason her sister felt compelled to sign up to be a foster parent in the first place.
I was horrified! Told her it was a horrible idea!
She didn’t listen to me. She went on with it anyway.
About a month ago, a social worker showed up at my apartment to ask me some questions about my sister. She had put me down as a character witness or something like that.
I immediately told the social worker why my sister really wanted to foster a kid and how she treated me when I lived with her.
The lady thanked me.
Her sister is upset with her for ratting her out, but OP is pretty sure she did the right thing.
My sister called crying saying that she wouldn’t be considered for any adoptions or fosters. The social worker told her that they felt her home and her weren’t a good fit. She asked if I said anything and I told the truth.
She went off on me, hung up and we haven’t spoken since. She has sent some angry texts. A couple family members are on her side. They think foster kids are dogs or something and would be so happy just to have a roof and would gladly do all the housework.
So AITA here?
Is Reddit going to back her up? Let’s find out!
The top comment says definitely, because foster kids are not slaves.
They say the fact that the sister just wants to toss one away for another might be the worst part.
Sis definitely isn’t looking to do right by the kid.
This person is honestly appalled.
If her logic sounds familiar, that’s because you’ve heard it before.
This woman shouldn’t have her own kids, never mind someone else’s.
Yeesh. Very clear NTA.