A lot of people are making the choice to not have children these days, and funny enough, they’re not jumping at the chance to spend all of their free time watching other people’s kids, either.
Weird.
OP is a grown person with a full-time job and a side hustle. She was taking some time off to visit home for the holidays, but still planned to do some of her freelance work while she rested.
I’m a software engineer, with a full time job and a side hustle of doing freelance coding work in my own time. I’ve always been the type to have a side hustle I put a lot of my free time into; I get really bored sitting idle.
My freelance hourly rates are $60 an hour, and at my full time job, my hourly pay works out to about $40 an hour. So that’s how I value my time.
Anyway, over Christmas vacation, I was staying at my parents house. My cousin was also staying over with her three young kids from Christmas to new year’s.
I’d been planning on doing some work on my freelance projects when I had free time; in the mornings when my family had no plans. I wasn’t in any rush; I was already ahead of schedule on them all, but I didn’t really have anything else to do.
It was in a really rural area and it’s like an hour drive to the nearest anything
Her cousin and her husband and three kids were in town, too, and asked OP if she would mind babysitting a few days to give them some adult time with old friends.
Then my cousin and her husband asked if I could babysit all day for three days, so they could visit some friends in the area and hang out with just adults.
I said I had planned on doing freelance work at the library, and she offered to pay me to babysit.
OP thought about what her time was worth, about how much she would normally make an hour, and how much she would be willing to discount for family.
I said I could if they got close to my freelance rates. She wanted a number, and although my freelance rates are $60 I didn’t feel like that was right, it was high.
But I didn’t want to go too low; honestly babysitting 3 kids would be harder for me than the routine coding work I had for my freelance project.
I don’t know a lot about kids and I’ve never babysat for long, and I had a feeling it would be stressful and difficult.
So I said $35, which is below what I make hourly at work, and what is the bare minimum I’d value my time for, if that time is spent doing difficult work.
Her cousin freaked out at the number she came up with and called her stupid a bunch of times.
And she went crazy at me, saying that’s a ridiculous rate for babysitting, that I was entitled and being selfish, that I’m trying to take advantage of how she didn’t have other options, etc.
I said that’s way below what I’d be making if I had the time to do my own work, and I’d be putting off my own work to babysit.
Her husband then got mad at me saying that I was a 24 year old girl, that I’m damn near a child myself, that my time is not worth that much and it’s childish to say that it was.
And that I was a stupid girl for not knowing that babysitting costs like 15 an hour, when I grew up and have kids of my own I will see how stupid I was being.
OP doesn’t think she did anything wrong and her cousin’s reaction didn’t inspire any additional love. Her mother, though, thinks she should offer to babysit for cheaper.
I was kind of done with being called stupid so I just told them I hoped they could find someone else.
My mom thinks that I asked for something offensive, and my cousin and her husband obviously did too.
AITA for giving that number?
Whose side is Reddit on? They’re ready and waiting to lay it out!
The top comment says her quote isn’t far off at all.
They tell OP it’s normal to charge more for more children.
This person says it’s wrong for family to take advantage of you, too.
It can be a bit of sticker shock.
This commenter says OP can charge whatever they want, take it or leave it.
I don’t understand people who think being family means you can take whatever you want.
OP clearly doesn’t need the money, and should be applauded for valuing her time.