Everyone in the world has a past, and your own experience probably determines what they consider “colorful” about someone else’s.
OP was an adult worker in order to support herself and pay for college. She no longer does it and her now-fiancee is aware of her former profession.
I (27F) used to be an “adult companion” from 18 until I was 23. I’m not proud of it but I also don’t care because I did what I had to do to keep studying and a roof over my head.
That’s how I met my now fiancé (37M) tho he was never my client.
When they first started dating her soon-to-be BIL “outed” her, thinking he had really come up with something, but they answered all of the questions and her fiancee said he knew and they had sorted through it.
We began to date when I was 25 and three or four months after that his BIL ”exposed me” (no idea how he found out) because there’s no way my fiancé knew and thus we had to come clean in front of his whole family.
Yes I did that. Yes he knows. Yes he doesn’t care.
It was 2 years ago (at that time), we got over it.
There was some weirdness at the beginning but for the most part, everyone seemed to settle in.
After that there was a span of 3-4 months in were my MIL and some of my fiancés aunts and cousin “police” their husband when I was around, it was really weird tbh because these dudes were like 40-60yo and I wasn’t that desperate, so my fiancé shut their bull hard and even when his family still gives me the side eye from time to time, we thought it was behind us.
That is, until OP got pregnant.
First, her MIL made her reassure her that the baby was her son’s.
He proposed last year and five months ago we found out that I was pregnant, we were really happy about it and we told his family as soon as we knew.
His sisters and young brother were happy for us, but his mom took me aside and begged me to be honest with her and she asked if this was really my fiancés child, I was taken aback but I just rolled my eyes and said yes.
She gave me some speech about how “she only wanted to make sure” and that “she was happy to be a grandmother.”
Then, her FIL made an extremely distasteful joke, which the other men at the table laughed about.
Well, last weekend we were at his parents with his family and some of his friends and we were talking about the name, how he might look (small talk, we will love him regardless but there’s always some “Oh I hope he gets your nose!” “mmh I like your eyes, I hope he gets them” comments) and my FIL said that he and his children have a birthmark in the inner thigh and that even his grandchildren (one of my SIL’s kids) got them, so our baby might too.
Then he said “But how can we know from who he got it? It may as well be from me, my boy or my brothers” and he and his brothers began to laugh.
When OP asked him to explain why it was funny, though, the tables quickly turned.
My fiancé got mad and before he could say anything I said “I don’t get it” and my FIL was “yeah because it runs in the family” and I said again “I don’t get it, why would he get it from you?” and he began to get nervous and said “because you know… it’s just a joke OP”
I said “but I don’t get it and you all laughed, explain.”
It got to the point that some of his friends said “hey, it’s not funny” so he he excused himself and left.
Now some of the family think she was wrong to embarrass him in his own home, but was she really?
Later my fiancé’s BIL came to me and said that I was wrong for embarrassing him like that in his own house and that I knew what the joke was about and because of my past, I shouldn’t be surprised.
Now they’re all demanding that I apologize to my FIL.
You know Reddit is going to lay it all out!
The top comment says actually, OP could have gone farther.
But this person disagrees, saying OP already did everything right.
You should really keep this method in your back pocket.
Some people really wish they could have been a fly on the wall.
There are ways to continue to be passive aggressive, if she wants.
I tend to agree that she’s done the right thing.
No need to go further, because her point has been loudly made.