I think all most people want in life is to be loved and accepted for who they are. Sadly, that seems as if it’s too hard for way too many people, leaving loved ones out in the cold and in really tough spots.
OP realized he was bi a bit later in life, when he met his now-husband. His family has largely been accepting, even if it did take some of them a bit longer than others to come around.
I (M27) am married to a man (M28). He is the love of my life. I had only ever dated women before him but when I met him I realized I was bi, and we fell in love. We got married in the fall of 2018, so it’s been almost 4 years. We now live in Vermont.
My whole family is from a small town in Texas, a super conservative Catholic area. I was raised there, but dad got a job in NYC when I was 15. The culture shock was difficult. We went from living in rural Texas to living in an apartment in Manhattan.
My parents didn’t sell our house in TX, they allowed our aunt & uncle who just had their 3rd child to move in while charging them a small rent. In college when I came out as bi, my brother and dad were very supportive.
My mom needed some time to accept. The rest of my family reacted poorly at first but came around.
His aunt and uncle live in their old house in Texas; they pay rent to his father. Before OP and his husband were married they were not allowed to sleep in the same room at their house, and since then they have stayed in motels out of convenience.
During visits we stayed with my aunt and uncle at my old house, but because we weren’t married we weren’t allowed to share a bed. We didn’t argue, we both would rather make peace. Visiting since, instead of staying with my aunt & uncle we would rent a motel room.
During Covid we did not visit them.
Recently they were all meant to stay at their house, but when it came time for bed, OP was expected to share a room with his brother while his husband was relegated to the couch.
But this summer, my parents and bro decided to go visit my hometown again for 2 weeks, & invited my husband and I. I wanted a motel again but my aunt & uncle insisted my brother, husband and I stay with them.
The 1st night sleeping situation was being discussed after my cousins went to bed. My aunt & uncle wanted me and bro to take the spare bedroom, husband on couch.
All 3 of us took issue with that.
OP and his brother objected and things escalated to the point that OP’s fiance ran crying from the room – and his uncle responded by laughing.
They snapped that we were not really married because we were gay, & that they had children in the house. They said that it would be a bad influence on their kids. This hurt my husband’s feelings and he started crying & ran out of the room.
When my husband ran out, my uncle had the audacity to start laughing. That’s when I saw red.
At that point, OP had enough. He took his fiance to a hotel, but not before he’d made it clear that his father would probably kick them out of the house over the whole thing.
I started cussing them out so loudly that my young cousins came to investigate. I told them that if they didn’t go apologize to my husband immediately then I was going to tell my dad what just happened, and I was going to make sure to have them kicked out of the house — that was still in my parents’ name.
My bro seconded everything that I was saying. They started backtracking and saying that we were still welcome in “their” house but that we had to follow their rules, I responded that it wasn’t really THEIR house. I told them they were going to be homeless if I had my way.
The kids started crying cause they heard me say they were all going to be homeless, so we left. My husband was on the porch crying, I promised him that I would never subject him to that again.
His father did start eviction proceedings and now OP is wondering if he went too far, as his young cousins could end up homeless over the whole thing.
I told dad what happened. To say that my dad was angry would be an understatement. He served them a notice of eviction for 60 days. I have been getting calls and texts and Facebook messages from my family calling me AH.
I want to know AITA for allowing my young cousins to end up homeless? Is it fair that they have to pay for what my aunt and uncle said to me and my husband?
This is kind of a fraught one, so hopefully Reddit has some answers!
This person agrees, and also thinks the whole situation was a setup.
Because they knew what they were getting when they asked him to stay.
And this commenter thinks relatives are focusing on the wrong thing, here.
They also remind OP that the uncle and aunt got themselves into this mess without help.
I am so happy that OP has family that loves and stands up for them.
Not everyone is so lucky.