Parenting is not an easy job. Anyone who tells you differently is lying – to you, themselves, or both.
It’s even harder when you and your co-parent don’t agree on a pretty big issue – like whether or not to take an opportunity from one child just because the other one can’t get in on it.
OP’s son was invited to go to Disney World with a friend for his friend’s 13th birthday. His wife wanted to make him stay home because his little sister loves Disney, and they wouldn’t be able to afford a trip for her, too.
This all started back in March. My son’s best friend turned thirteen. In his family, thirteenth birthday is a huge deal. In addition to a massive party (which all four of us were invited to) his parents also took him to Disney World. They invited my son to attend as well.
My wife was hesitant to consent to this. She said it was unfair to allow our son to go when our nine year old daughter can’t. Especially since she loves Disney and princesses.
OP argued that they couldn’t do that, or else they’d have to be willing to take something similar from their daughter if the situation was presented.
I said that our kids won’t always have the exact same opportunities, and if we set a precedent here, we’ll have to stick to it if and when our daughter gets a similar opportunity.
So we’d just be punishing both our children needlessly. My wife reluctantly agreed that we should allow our son to go.
His wife gave in, his son and his friend brought home souvenirs for their daughter. Even so, seeing her daughter’s tears was enough to break her heart.
I gave our son money to buy his sister souvenirs. He did, and his friend’s parents even bought extra stuff for him to give to her.
Still, when she saw him come back wearing a Star Wars shirt with the Mickey hat and trading pin lanyard, she burst into tears.
My wife later said we made a huge mistake and never should have let him go.
So, when their family was invited on a beach vacation, his wife wanted to leave their son behind to “even things out.”
I (mistakenly) thought all of that was behind us. Now, we are not well off financially, but my BiL is, and he invited all of us to visit a beach house he rented for a summer send-off.
My wife told me she wants to have our son stay with my dad and just take out daughter to “even the score.”
OP says no way, and so they’re at an impasse.
I told my wife that isn’t happening. We are their parents. We can’t favor one child over the other.
Not being invited to the birthday trip of a kid you barely know is in no way comparable to being left out of a family vacation and I’m shocked she would even suggest such a thing.
I refuse to allow it. Now my wife is angry, but I don’t care. I’m not punishing my son for being lucky. AITA?
Which side is Reddit going to take? I have a feeling I know…
The top commenter wonders whether or not OP’s wife is always this mean to their son.
But this person thinks she’s just trying to figure this out.
People usually come to realize that fair and equal aren’t the same thing.
And this commenter says family vacations are sacred.
This person agrees the wife seems super wrong, too.
This is definitely an argument that needs to be had, in this situation.
I hope, for the kid’s sake, that OP came out on top.