Weddings can bring out some super weird requests, but asking someone to let you have one at their house while they go somewhere else is pretty out there.
OP’s friend from college (who he also used to date) asked if she could have her wedding at his home. As they were still friends, OP said fine.
One of my (29M) best friends “Carla” (31f) is getting married soon. It’s only meant to be a small backyard type of wedding but they’ve been planning it for a few months now and originally it was supposed to be on my property. They wanted it because it’s private, has lots of open space for the reception, a nice view and the house could be used for them to get ready and stuff.
Of course I said yes, she and her fiancé “Rick” were very happy. Thing is Carla and I do have a history. We went out on & off in college but decided to stay friends. Then I met my wife, we got married, Carla met Rick and now here they are.
His wife is ok with them being friends, despite their past, but apparently the friend’s husband found out about them having dating and isn’t so ok with it.
Now my wife knows I went out with Carla back in college and she didn’t care. Carla still went to our wedding and everything. I never knew if Rick was told or not, it’s not my relationship therefore not my business to say anything so I never did.
Rick found out recently and not in the best way. Not sure how but from what I heard from friends is that one mutual friend told him (no idea why) we used to date.
Not only that but apparently Carla said a couple years ago she was still in love with me when she was already dating Rick. Don’t have actual confirmation if that’s exactly what he was told.
All Carla’s told me is that Rick was told about our past and he’s angry at her for never saying anything.
In fact, they’re in couples counseling about the whole thing, and one of the things the fiancee requested is that OP not be a part of their lives.
It became quite a drama and didn’t hear from her for over a month until now. She told me they’re going to couples counseling and that the wedding is still on.
But Rick requested that I not attend. It sucks but I totally get why he wouldn’t be comfortable.
Thing is, they still want to have the wedding at their house.
Then I asked the obvious question, where are they going to hold the wedding then?
To my surprise she said they still want it at our place.
OP said no, because he and his wife aren’t comfortable leaving their home while there are lots of guests, but he’s wondering whether or not he’s wrong.
Rick said so to and in my mind I’m going “he doesn’t want the guy who dated his fiancée years ago at the wedding, but still wants the wedding at his house.”
My wife and I are expected to just…not be at our home that weekend?
I told Carla no. They’re going to have to find some place else since we’re not going to simply leave our home to them for the weekend. Not only for safety reasons but it just doesn’t make sense.
Rick doesn’t want me around because he’s not comfortable but is comfortable enough to have their wedding at my house? They really want their wedding here though and because of that I’ve been bugged by not only her but also Rick and some friends who think I’m being petty for not letting them have the wedding here anymore.
Honestly don’t think that I am, it just doesn’t make sense at all to have to leave our own place for a wedding we’re no longer welcome to and leaving our home totally vulnerable.
Still, being accused of sabotaging their wedding and Rick believes it’s the least I can do after everything.
AITA?
I can’t wait to get Reddit’s take on this one!
The top commenter suspects the fiancee is trying to weasel out of the wedding.
Because it’s definitely a weird stance that he’s taking.
And this person agrees that the fiancee seems to be sabotaging the wedding.
No one thinks OP is being unreasonable rescinding his offer.
None of this seems very friendly.
I don’t think anyone has really done anything wrong, per se.
This is probably a case where it would be best if everyone went their separate ways.