Most parents want their kids to graduate from college, find a job, and start moving toward physical and financial dependence.
Apparently, though, some think their children are there to be indentured servants and nothing more.
OP’s son moved home after college with the expectation that he would stay there for free and help care for his disabled younger brother.
My son “Aiden” (23) moved back in with us upon graduating college as my husband wanted. My husband’s original plan was to have Aiden live with us for free, but stay home and help with his disabled younger brother (16).
Soon, he tired of this and began to look for a job.
Aident started complaining about needing money and wanted to find a job.
My husband was against this and even offered to double his allowance but Aiden was growing tired of staying at home.
He had no success and was beginning to get frustrated/sad about that fact when OP discovered her husband was rescinding his applications using their son’s email address.
So he began looking for jobs here and there for over a year but non of his job applications came through. He’d just apply and they never get back to him.
We were confused by this til recently, I found out that my husband was behind all the job applications being cancelled. He’d wait until Aiden applies then he proceeds to cancel the application by impersonating him and using his email.
He tried to justify this by saying he’s teaching his son to be compassionate and care about others, but OP did not agree.
I blew up at him for this but his justification is that he’s just trying to make sure that our younger son is cared for by Aiden and said that Aiden has been big help and him getting a job will affect his care for his brother.
She rented an apartment for her son and moved him in, telling him he could stay and take over the rent when he found a job of his own.
I went ahead and rented an apartment for Aiden and told him to stay there til he finds a job and starts paying for it himself.
Aiden was hurt upon knowing what his dad did.
Her husband is calling her a terrible mother, one who promotes being selfish, etc, but OP doesn’t see it that way.
My husband was livid when he found out. He called me unhinged and said that I was separating the boys and teaching Aiden to become selfish and care more about a job than family.
He also said it was huge decision for me to rent an apartment without even running it with him.
He’s been giving me heck about it and is calling me a terrible mother for encouraging Aiden to be selfish and self centered.
He said I needed to see and understand why he did what he did.
Whose gaze will Reddit say is right? Let’s hear them out!
The top comment calls the dad not only creepy, but abusive.
And this person tells OP they are the parent doing right by their son.
Because the dad is going to end up alienating his child.
This commenter calls dad short-sighted at best.
Her husband is all of the things he’s calling her (and their son).
This guy is beyond unhinged, really.
I’m pretty sure it was illegal to impersonate his son, too.