There are women all over the world who have experienced some kind of infertility or a difficulty conceiving. That said, not all of those women would be ok turning someone else’s baby shower into their own personal pity party.
OP and his wife are in their 20s. They have been trying to conceive for around 4 months with no luck; their doctor has assured them there are likely no issues and it can just take time.
His wife, however, tells people she’s “infertile.”
So my wife (26F) and I (28M) have been married for a year and began trying to conceive in September. No luck so far but the doctor did say at our first appointment that it typically takes close to a year for most couples to conceive.
She’s been telling people that she’s infertile (which isn’t true, doctor said she isn’t).
Recently, his wife and his boss’s wife hit it off at a party, and the latter invited OP’s wife to her baby shower.
My wife and I went to my work Christmas party in mid December, where my wife met my coworkers wife (let’s call her Mary) and they took a liking to each other.
Mary was pregnant and invited my wife to her baby shower (which was yesterday), and my wife sounded excited to go.
He tried talking to her about why it might not be a good idea that she go, but she waved him off and said she would be fine.
I asked her when we were alone if she thinks she’ll be fine. I know my wife and I know what typically bothers her.
I knew she wouldn’t bask in happiness over someone else’s pregnancy so I urged her to think it through. She said she’s fine and she was excited so she went.
OP knows his wife well, so was ready and waiting for her call saying she was struggling and waiting for him to come get her.
The baby shower was yesterday. About 40 minutes in, she calls me and asks me to come.
I was at a cafe nearby because I knew she wouldn’t stay long.
He arrived to find her crying outside and being consoled by half of the party.
I find her at the entrance of the house crying and a BUNCH of women consoling her. When she saw me she came to me and pulled me to the garden to talk.
She said she was dancing and looked at Mary’s pregnant belly and couldn’t take it anymore, started crying and ran out.
All of Mary’s friends followed her out to console her.
They talked for a bit, she told him what was going on, but when he said they should go, she wanted to return to the party. She ignored his concern that she was hijacking this woman’s shower.
I consoled her myself, and said “ok let’s go babe. Where do you want to go? We can go for a drive so you can feel better”, she looked at me weird and asked why she would leave. I asked why she would stay.
She said she feels better now and can go have a good time. I sighed and said “babe, you know that’s not going to happen. And I doubt the attention will be on Mary after this and that’s not great. It’s her baby shower and she deserves to be celebrated. I can’t see how people are going to shift their focus from consoling you to celebrating her if you’re still there”.
She rolled her eyes at me and said she was going back in and that I could leave.
By the time she was ready to go the guest of honor had left and his wife had made herself the center of attention.
3 hours later, the party was nearing its end so I go back to pick her up. My coworker and I stepped into the house and lo and behold, everyone is sitting in a circle with my wife being the centre of attention. Coworker looked for his wife and she wasn’t there at all. He called her and she said she had left ages ago.
My wife and I entered the car and I first asked her how she was feeling and we spoke about it for a few minutes. I then asked her what happened and why Mary left.
She said “oh crap, Mary. I forgot to say bye to her”. I told her Mary left ages ago. I then said “I know you’re going through a hard time but why on earth would you and her friends do this? If they consoled you for a few minutes that’s fine but the entire party? We really should’ve left earlier”.
They got into an argument about it on the way home and now she’s not speaking to him.
She looked at me so offended and said “are you Mary’s husband or mine?”. We stared at each other for a while and just drove home in silence.
I told her I want to talk to her this morning to sort things out but she ignored me and left the house.
This is quite the tale, but I’m sure Reddit is up to the task!
The top comment is very concerned that his wife sees no issue with her behavior.
And this person agrees she doesn’t seem like an ideal mother.
Lots of women who struggled to conceive chimed in, all condemning the wife’s behavior.
They say she knew exactly what she was doing.
This person (and others) bet OP could give more examples of cringe interactions.
All signs point to this relationship not working out.
Finger’s crossed OP gets out before her “infertility” clears up.