This is an ugly story.

And it’s about an ugly divorce, so you know that things are about to get NASTY…

But it ended up working out for the guy who wrote the story on Reddit’s “Malicious Compliance” page!

He started by saying that he and his ex were working out the terms of their separation.

You know your rights? Ok. Go for it.

“My ex and I were 3 months in to separation, as I kept suggesting divorce agreements, trying to find what she would accept other than “take her back and return to being a doormat for her.”

I have a good head for legal documents, and understood very early that as much as I would prefer to just burn everything down and disappear, legally it was very likely I was going to be paying alimony, and she was entitled to a fair share of everything.

But in a no fault state with no gender preferences, it did mean a fair share. It was clear that legally I would not get an approval for an agreement heavily biased in her favor.

He tried to figure it all out.

So I kept reworking and sending possible divisions. Every few days for months. She would object to anything that put any responsibility on her, anything that left something of value out of her hands. Any time I asked her what terms she would be ok with, she would just derail the conversation to something else.

Not long into this I realized that I would need a paper trail, so everything went to email only.

He was doing what he thought was best.

Through all of this, I had recognized too that a court would order spousal support, so there wasn’t any point in just cutting her off financially. Not a total doormat at this point though. I had moved my direct deposit to a solo account and kept up her weekly cash flow, and kept paying the bills.

But she wasn’t happy with the offer.

But my final offer in this period was the heavily unbalanced offer of splitting the cars one to each, me taking all the debt including her student loans, paying her $3-4k a month for a year so she could get her feet under her, and she gets all the “stuff”. I walk away with my car, my dogs, some tools, and some clothes. No go. “Not good enough for her”.

And so we get to the meat of the story for the MC.

A mediator got involved.

3 months in, I finally get her to agree to a mediator, since I’m getting nowhere. She shows up to the initial meeting, the first time we have seen each other in a while, the 2nd time since splitting. She was staying with her sister. The mediator starts out with the rules of mediation, and the agreements to sign.

I sign easily, She balks, but signs it finally. One of the relevant terms is that we agree to not file any other legal paperwork. We would come to an agreement and the mediator would file the final court papers on both of our behalf to get the divorce ordered.

His ex doesn’t know when to quit.

The mediator starts asking basic questions. And every question, to either of us, results in my ex launching into an irrelevant topic attempting emotional manipulation of me or him. I quickly resolve to grey rock her directly, and only direct my interactions to the mediator.

I do my best to ignore her off topic ramblings, and reply to the mediator when she briefly crossed relevancy like someone falling from a tree and briefly being stopped by various branches on the way down.

And she was losing it!

The peak was when she literally crawled on top of the big table to stick her face in mine to “force me” to see her and engage in her ranting.

The mediator called it quits at that point. He reminded her of the rules she agreed to, gave us homework to fill out, and had us schedule the next meeting with his clerk, 2 weeks out.

3 days later I get served with a summons to court for a hearing over spousal support. The summons shows the claim my ex made that all I had received from her in 3 months was $130. Oh boy. Not true at all. Not to mention in violation of the mediator terms.

The mediator decided they couldn’t do it anymore.

I end up on a conference call with the ex and the mediator as he tells her that she needs to withdraw the complaint or mediation can’t continue. She adamantly insists that she knows her rights. So the mediator ends his involvement, cuts us refund checks minus time worked so far, and exits stage left.

So he got prepared.

I prepare for the hearing. I print out 3 months of bank statements, and highlight every transfer to her. Every bill paid on her behalf. Every ATM withdraw by her card. Over 100 toll bills I received from her just driving through express lane tolls so I got the elevated license plate fee mailed to me.

$13,000 and change. “You missed a couple zeros in your complaint” I thought.

My final stack of paper was rather thick. So I made and printed an excel spreadsheet summary for the cover sheet. I also looked up the spousal support rules again. It is 40% of the difference between the income goes from the higher paid to the lower paid. Some little wiggle room, but that’s it. Simple.

She was getting up to 72% of my pay once you factored her bills in. This court hearing was a good thing. Not as good as a mediator and fast resolution, but I wasn’t likely to end up screwed more here. Not to mention I had some daydreams of her finding out what lying on court documents might do.

It was time to head to court.

Court date rolls around. I show up to court, waiting in the hall outside the family law section. She shows up and plops herself next to me to start going off on me again. I try to ignore her. Then to keep from engaging, I start a written transcript of her ranting using the back cover of my paperwork folder.

Finally she realized what I’m doing and ends the ranting with: “oh, I guess you are writing what I’m saying so you can make your friends **** me.” (They needed no encouragement). She huffs a few seats away and is quiet the rest of the time we waited.

The court officer (not a judge, just someone authorized to handle it since it is a simple and clear legal process) finally comes to get us, and we head in. The officer starts the legal speeches, yada yada, then asks my ex if she has anything to add to the complaint.

She got back to her old ways.

She launches into a rollercoaster speech proclaiming all my bad faults (some of which were real), how mean I was to try to divorce her, and how I obviously didn’t need any of the money I made “because he is just going to live somewhere simple and cheap anyway.”

Yeah, her words.

The court officer returns to the present like someone climbing down from the kitchen table after seeing a rat run by. And she asks me if I have anything I’d like to say. She can see the stack of paper, and eyeballs it as she is talking.

And she kept going on and on and on…

I hand over the stack, tell the officer that the summary sheet on top should help clear up the financial points in question, and just verbally start going through the items. At each one, my ex interrupts to give a reason why that item shouldn’t count. Every. Single. One. The officer keeps asking her to stop interrupting, but to no avail.

We finally finish the list.

The officer made her decision.

The officer is shaking her head slightly and says: “Mr Yen, this court process is to ensure that both parties are doing the right thing. So all of the” and gestures to encompass the stack of paper, “needs to stop right now. We will garnish your paychecks for the amount specified by law and send that to her instead.”

He knew what was really going to happen.

I know it’s a win. I knew it was going to be. She didn’t. She sat there all smug as we get into the calculations. I asked for a couple of adjustments, to keep the amount of her car payment since I cosigned and I wanted to be sure the bill was paid.

I expected that she would refuse or overspend on other stuff and be unable to pay it. I didn’t want to give her the power to trash my credit. The officer agreed. I then asked to keep the insurance payment amount too, for much the same reason. Also agreed by the officer. My ex continued to be smug. I know she was thrilled at the idea of getting a court check directly. It sure would show me!

Everything wrapped up, we got the totals, signed papers, I handed over a check for the first payment, and the officer got up to make copies of everything. I asked the officer if I could wait in another room while she did, and got an agreement with a bit of side eye at my ex.

He got the hell out of there.

I got my paperwork first, with the officer saying: “it might take a few minutes for her to get her paperwork, but you are free to go.” I got the hint and left immediately. I had parked a few streets away anyway, another barrier if she couldn’t park near me.

And then he got down to business.

I got in my car and immediately called my cell carrier and cancelled her phone.

“Does she want to set up her own plan?”

“I can’t answer that. I am obeying a court order to remove her from my accounts.”

“Okay.”

And worked down the remaining subscriptions I was paying for that she used. I even had the bills in front of me from court with account numbers and customer service numbers right there.

I was done and driving home when she started blowing up my phone with incoming emails demanding to know what I was doing. Then texts from her sister’s phone. Then calls.

I just grinned and didn’t answer any of them.

His ex was really upset.

She stopped after an hour or so and gave me a few hours of silence. Then an all caps email with a screenshot of the Netflix inactive account message: “OMG! EVEN NETFLIX!”

I admit I giggled.

The fallout wasn’t over though. A month later after she realized how much less she has from me after “winning” her case, she files an appeal. It is denied due to lack of reason. A month later, she files a complaint that “I wasn’t paying her car payment”. Just an excuse to get into court.

I had been paying it, and I was also pretty confident that even if I hadn’t she didn’t know how to get into that loan’s account (she legally could, just never had cared to learn how). I had a lawyer at this point, and we both go to court. She is going to join by phone. The officer paused before calling and tells my lawyer: “this lady is a piece of work”. The validation of that statement will always remain with me.

And she was about to get the final nail in the coffin.

The call goes predictably. My ex makes irrelevant rants. The officer keeps shutting her down. Finally asks my ex for proof that I wasn’t paying the car payment … as she is holding statements and check images proving I had.

My ex nearly screams: “I just know he isn’t so he can hurt me!” The officer replies: “I am holding proof that he has paid it and is satisfying his legal obligation. The complaint is dismissed. Thank you.” And hangs up on my ex.”

Check out how folks reacted on Reddit.

This person was reminded of a story from their family.

One reader talked about their friend’s divorce.

This individual spoke the truth.

Another Reddit user said lawyers and judges have seen it all.

And this reader talked about their life as a lawyer in these kinds of situations.

I think we know who got the best of this one.

Some people will never learn…