It might be a parent’s job to impart wisdom to their kids, especially during the teen years, but if they’re doing it right, they usually learn more than a few things in the process.
This girl lost her mother when she was only 10, and because there was only one dad (who didn’t know much about “wifely” duties), the siblings had to take over things like cooking and cleaning.
First off, my dad was a great man, he was just dumb sometimes. Lol
Some background: I am one of the youngest from a very large family. My mom passed away when I was 10.
My dad, bless his heart, was from the generation where the man worked and the woman took care of everything at home. When my mom passed away, the responsibility of “everything at home” fell to the kids.
By the time I was 11, I was regularly cooking dinner for 8-10 people. I had a long list of chores.
OP says she had a fine childhood, she doesn’t think she was mistreated or anything, but says that sometimes her dad can be a little dense.
Truly, it was fine.
I’m sure I pitied myself some because my friends didn’t have these responsibilities, but I really had a great childhood, minus the no mom thing.
Once she was old enough to drive he bought her a car. She paid for gas and he took care of everything else. OP was expected to use the car to get herself and her little sister where they needed to go, as well as to buy groceries and run other errands.
When I was 16, my dad got me a car. I paid for gas with babysitting money, my dad paid for insurance and maintenance. I had to get my little sister and myself to and from school. I had to do the grocery shopping.
I had to get the two of us to practices and meets. I had to run chores. I was responsible for driving her wherever she needed to go.
My day consisted of getting to school, getting home, grocery store, making dinner if it was my turn, homework, practice, bed. Meets were on weekends.
In other words, her father was also benefiting greatly from this arrangement.
I NEVER went out. I was never in trouble. I was an honors student.
I’m not trying to toot my own horn, but I was a good kid. All was well, relatively.
Then, his father started dating someone new. Because her kids paid for everything to do with their own cars, she expected OP to do the same and her father capitulated.
AND THEN: my dad got a new girlfriend. Her kids were in high school with me. She told him that if I got to have a car, I should be fully responsible for it. After all, HER kids were.
So my dad sat me down and said “I’ve decided that if you want a car, you have to pay for it. I expect you to take over payments, maintenance ,and insurance.”
I told him I couldn’t afford that.
He told me I’d have to get a job. I said I had no time for a job.
He told me I’d have to figure it out.
OP laughed and said she really didn’t want the car, then, because she couldn’t afford it and had no time to make extra money.
I went and got my keys and handed them to him. I told him I didn’t want the car anymore.
He was a little shocked, but I guess he thought I’d come crawling back for it soon.
It took two days for her father to realize he’d made an error in judgement.
The next morning, my sister and I “missed the bus”. I had to wake him up so he could drive us to school. He was MAD.
We got a ride home from school. At 5:30, when dinner was supposed to be on the table, I was reading on the couch. He came home, “where is dinner?”. I said “oh, I didn’t have a car to get to the store. I’m sure there are some leftovers you can heat up”.
He told me I’d have to start walking to the store. I told him I didn’t have time! Finals were coming up! Didn’t he care about my grades?
An hour later, I told him it was time for practice. My sister and I needed a ride to and from practice. He told me to call a friend. “Sorry, I can’t. No one on the team lives in this town. It would be really out of the way for anyone else.”
He drove us. Then he picked us up, silently fuming the whole way.
The next morning, oops! We missed the bus again! I had to wake him up AGAIN, plus he had no orange juice in the morning, on account of no one going to the store.
Once again, no dinner on the table. He had to drive me to the store when he got home.
Once again, we needed a ride to practice. I informed him that the meet that weekend was an hour away and we had to be there at 9.
And a few negotiations for OP to totally teach him the lesson.
That was enough for him. It was probably the most parenting he’d done in 30 years of being a father. He called me to the top of the stairs.
He tossed my car keys up to me. “I’ve decided you can have your car back. I’ll pay for half of the payment and half of the insurance. You can only use it for school, practice, meets,chores, and driving your sister.”
I laughed, tossed the keys back and said “that’s all I use it for, anyway. I don’t want the car. Sell it”
Five minutes later, he’s SCREAMING my name from the bottom of the stairs. He overhand whips the keys up the stairs.
Y’all, my dad never got mad. His new deal was he’d pay for everything but gas, but I wasn’t allowed any personal use of the car.
I said “so, I have to pay to do chores and I get no benefit from it? No, thank you” and I tossed the keys back down the stairs.
Half an hour later, he demands my presence in the living room. He calmly said he would pay for everything but gas, I’d have the use of the car when I wanted but….I had to do all the stuff I’d previously been doing without complaint until his girlfriend got into his head.
He didn’t phrase it like that, of course. Then he said “I hope you learned a lesson here”. I did. Lol, I certainly did.
Does Reddit love this “teen wins the day” story? I bet they do!
The top comment is wondering how long the girlfriend lasted.
This person says maybe we should look at the girlfriend a different way, though.
They think OP had a more troubled childhood than she realizes.
Because seriously, he didn’t even seen to appreciate what OP did.
A little nod to her efforts would have gone a long way.
I feel sorry for this girl.
But I guess everything turned out ok in the end.