Most parents will never admit to having a favorite child. That said, most children will be able to tell you which of them is the favorite, based on how they are treated.
OP has four children and they all go on vacation several times a year.
My husband and I have 4 kids, Evan (20), Adriana (16), Elizabeth (15), and Michael (15).
We try to travel 3-4 times a year.
One year, their accommodation was canceled at the last minute and it was their middle child who came up with a fantastic and affordable replacement.
3 years ago, the night before we were supposed to leave, my friend told us we couldn’t use her cabin anymore.
We were all looking for new places and Adriana sent a listing for this small town in the middle of nowhere. We ignored it the first few times she sent it but she eventually talked us into looking at it and it was perfect.
We paid a little over $200 a night for a beautiful cabin on the lake with a game room and enough beds to allow everyone to get their own bed.
The people were great, the drive wasn’t bad, and there was actually a lot of things to do there. It’s become one of our favorite vacation spots.
Since then, she has chosen and planned nearly all of their family vacations. The only thing she asks in return is that she gets first pick of the bedrooms.
When Adriana was 14, we pretty much started letting her book family vacations. She had to run everything by us first but she was the one that chose where we went and where we stayed.
She’s even booked an international vacation for us, including flights and a rental car.
Her only condition is that she gets first pick for rooms/beds.
Not everyone is thrilled with the outcomes, though.
We recently spent 3 nights in a cabin with 3 bedrooms. 2 rooms had a king bed and an en suite. 3rd had 4 twin beds.
Adriana chose one of the rooms with the king beds. There was a pull out couch available but none of them wanted it.
We’ve given the other kids opportunities to help with vacations. They all know if they can find a place that we’d want to go to and stay within a budget, they can get first dibs if we book it.
Her siblings don’t think this is fair, but according to OP, no one can rival the middle kid’s knack for choosing nice and affordable options.
The problems are that they have a hard time sticking to a budget or they’re set on a specific place even if it’s not suitable for everyone. They’ll pick a hotel or rental that’s nearly the entire (or over the) vacation budget or doesn’t have enough rooms because it has a specific feature.
Because of this, we almost always go with Adriana’s choice.
After we left, they were upset that Adriana got her own room and bathroom while the rest of them had to share.
I told them they know the deal and that if they can find a place for everyone, stay within budget, and pick a place that we’d all want to go to, they can also choose their room and bed.
They say they try but we always pick Adriana’s listings. I told them her listings are usually more practical.
We paid a little under $600 for the cabin that we stayed at after taxes and fees. It had so many free activities nearby that the entire 3 day vacation for 6 people came out to just under $1000.
They can’t beat it with a $1800 listing with 2 beds and a single bathroom.
They think we’re being unfair and should rotate who books the vacations and chooses the rooms but I just don’t have that kind of money to throw away.
I’m not going to deal with the fighting that’ll inevitably come when they pick a place with not enough beds or bathrooms.
So, is she playing favorites? I’m genuinely curious where Reddit lands!
The top comment says OP is letting her daughter choose places without equal accommodations for all.
She’s young so she may not be considering everyone’s wants and needs as equal to her own.
But this person says people are being too dramatic.
And this commenter says the middle kid is earning her perks.
All of the kids should be more grateful for their privileges.
Talk about first world problems.
OP could probably be more fair but all of their kids need a chat about appreciating everything they have.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parent’s 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.