Blood might be thicker than water, but these days, people online are quick to say that going no-contact with one’s family is the best course of action.
OP is neurotypical (as far as we know) and has a younger brother with fairly significant challenges brought on by autism.
I (32) my brother Tim (24) has trying to go to film school. Tim is on the spectrum. He doesn’t have great judgment.
He and his wife are saving money to buy a house, so you can imagine it was quite a concern to learn someone had used his SSN to co-sign a student loan.
In July I got a flag on my credit report someone tried to cosign my name on a private student loan.
My wife was mad because we are living with my inlaws (on the other side of the country) saving up for a home once (if) the interest rates drop.
I have kept my credit flawless.
After a lot of time and trouble, OP found out his brother hadn’t been able to get a loan for film school, found his brother’s SSN on a document at their parents house, and put it down.
So I did the things you are supposed to do report it for fraud. I tell my mom and she doesn’t say much.
It slowly comes out that my brother couldn’t get a loan and he found some paperwork about my parents will that had my ssn on it laying around.
He couldn’t get the loan without a co signer and put me down.
It takes months for this to come out.
When confronting his parents and brother with the consequences of these actions, OP told his brother he would have to go to jail then.
So my wife and in laws pressured me to file charges on Tim.
I told my mom what Tim did was wrong and illegal. My mom started crying and handed the phone to Tim and I explained to him about what he did and he needs a lawyer.
Again Tim is autistic and started panicking about what will happen to him after the headache of his actions and everything going on I said “ guess you go to jail”
Those words resulted in a meltdown, suicide talk, psychiatric holds, and a whole host of regressions for his brother.
Since then Tim went into a bad state and his meltdown caused him to be on psychiatric hold.
He’s in bad shape and my family blames me because he keeps saying I’m going to jail. I don’t know if he actually would for what he did but because of what I told him he’s regressed bad and has been in a panic for weeks and is not getting any better.
My parents did get him a lawyer to try to calm him down but he’s back in the hospital again for another stay.
Was he wrong to be so blunt? Should the extenuating circumstances in this case change anything?
I bet Reddit is going to have a field day here…
The top comment says the brother is still accountable for his actions.
This person is wondering whether the rest of his family was in on it, too.
They are worried that too many people have coddled the brother in his life.
Other autistic people weighed in and say they believe the brother knows right from wrong.
In fact, no one really disagreed.
Maybe facing real consequences will be a turning point for OP’s brother.
I seriously doubt anyone in his family is going to thank him for it, though.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parent’s 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.