Every couple handles their finances differently, in the way that works best for their relationship.
OP makes quite a bit more than his wife, but as they don’t have children, they both get the same amount of “fun” money every month. She usually spends hers shopping or going out with friends.
My wife (32f) and I (33m) have been together for 5 years, married for 3.
I make $150k and my wife makes $50k. We are not super rich for the city we live in but we are able to lead a comfortable lifestyle well within our means.
Since we don’t have kids yet, we are able to spend more on ourselves and each of us gets $500 of ‘fun money’ every month to do with as we please.
My wife likes to use her money to buy clothes for herself or go out for brunches with her girlfriends.
OP has started gambling, but not to excess. He spends a hundred a week, never more, and usually doesn’t win – he just likes the thrill.
My hobbies are all over the place. I do something for a while but then bored of it quickly so I stop.
I need something that gives me a ‘thrill’ so that I get that rush of dopamine. So, I decided to pick up gambling.
There’s a casino about 20 minutes on foot from where we live so every Saturday I go there to gamble $100.
I only take the $100 and leave my wallet at home so that I’m not tempted to spend any of our joint money in case I lose.
For the most part, I break even or lose some money. My wife hates that I gamble because she thinks I’ll go down a “destructive path” but I honestly love it and do it anyway because that’s what makes me happy, much to her annoyance.
One week he did win, though parlaying his $500 into $1k. Excited, he bought himself a gaming system that he’d never had.
Anyway, a couple of weeks ago I got lucky and ended up making $1,000.
I was obviously super delighted since I never won this much before in my life. I decided to buy a PS5 and a few games since I never owned a gaming console.
When my wife found out I bought all this stuff, she asked me how I was able to spend so much since all of it cost around $700-800. I told her about my winnings.
When his wife asked where he got the money he told her. She was upset, saying that while the original money had been his “fun” money, anything he made was income and should be split.
She got upset and said I should have given half of it to her.
I told her I got this money from my share of the ‘fun money’ so it’s my choice to do what I want with it. She said only the original $500 is mine. The $1000 is an income and should be shared between us.
He says that doesn’t make sense, because when she buys things he doesn’t get 50% of her clothes or whatever.
I disagreed because I don’t claim 50% of her possessions when she goes out shopping.
She called me selfish for only thinking about myself. She wants to go on a girl’s trip and this extra money would have helped her afford it.
I told her what I do with my money is my business and if she wants more spending money, she can figure out a side hustle instead of using me like an ATM.
She complained about me to her friends and they’re all calling me a financial abuser for “stealing” what rightfully belongs to her.
I think they’re all being entitled jerks but I would appreciate some unbiased perspective into my situation.
AITA?
Who is right? Reddit’s willing to make the call!
The top comment asks whether OP and his wife even like each other.
But this person is not giving the wife the benefit of the doubt.
And this commenter thinks issues like this will only fester.
No one thinks OP is really doing anything wrong.
Others do think there’s weird stuff going on here.
I don’t think OP did anything wrong.
That said, I don’t know that he was technically right, either.
If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.