Every adult knows that life isn’t fair. We’ve all learned it or been confronted with that fact, probably more than a couple of times.
It is what it is.
We all remember the first lesson, though, and how utterly outrageous it seemed.
OP is childfree and lives down the road from her parents and two nieces.
I (29f) live with my husband and our two dogs a 20 minute drive from my childhood home. My parents are there with my two nieces, Sally and Emma (both 16).
Sally is my brother’s who passed away along with his wife 2 years ago and my parents are now her guardian.
Emma is my sister’s who is currently working oversea for a few years. She went to stay with my parents about the same time Sally did and her mom is due back in the middle of 2024.
Emma’s father has never been in her life.
One of the dog sits for her when she goes out of town.
My husband’s family lives a few hours away and we always spend the December holiday with them while my parents get Thanksgiving.
Ever since the girls moved in with my parents, I offered them the chance to pet sit my dogs for my husband and me. They would need to take them on walks and feed them and all that.
We offered a rather generous pay for the job.
Sally is allergic to dogs while Emma is not. Emma took the job and did well and has been our December pet sitter for a couple years now as well as the occasional shorter term sitter other part of the year.
Last week I went to visit my parents and to ask Emma if she will take pet sitting again which she happily said yes.
I noticed that Sally was a bit sulky and asked her what was wrong.
Now, the other one is jealous that she doesn’t have a cushy December gig.
Sally said that Emma was lucky to be working for me at such a great pay and that she’s guaranteed a job every December while Sally has to work minimum wage with the occasional babysitting jobs.
Sally said I should get her a job, too, to be fair.
I told her I don’t create jobs just to hire people for them. The jobs were just there, needing to be done, and it is unfortunate but not my fault that she’s not qualified for a job I am in need of.
Sally said an allergy is not something she can control and Emma shouldn’t get to reap the benefits and it’s not fair.
I told her sometimes life isn’t fair and suggests she finds what she can do and make the most out of it.
Her mom thinks she should make things fair, but OP thinks it’s just one of those things.
My mom later called me and said I was being insensitive and maybe I could have Sally help file my documents or something.
I told her I would be wasting money and time having Sally do something that doesn’t need to be done.
My mom said my husband and I are well off enough we can spare a few hundred bucks this holiday to save Sally’s feelings.
I don’t believe in coddling and I think Sally needs to learn things can’t always go her way.
AITA?
Would you coddle a teenager this way? I wonder if Reddit would…
The top comment says OP doesn’t owe her niece anything at all.
This person doesn’t think her attitude deserves to be rewarded.
Others, though, are more forgiving.
Overall, people tend to agree that it’s a teaching moment.
After all, all kids are jerks sometimes.
I agree that she’s just being a kid.
But I also agree that OP and her parents shouldn’t just let it slide.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parent’s 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.