Weddings are a high stress environment, and one thing that definitely doesn’t help is selecting the bride and groom’s parties!
Sometimes someone thinks that really they should be the best man, or a disgruntled friend or roommate can’t understand why the bride would pick someone else over them.
But outside of best friends and siblings, very rarely do people just assume they’re part of the wedding!
Well that’s exactly what happened to this bride, who was put in an awkward situation when the best man’s girlfriend asked when the bridal party would be meeting to buy dresses, when she wasn’t even in the party in the first place!
Check it out for yourself, and be prepared to cringe!
AITA for telling someone she wasn’t a bridesmaid?
My fiancé and I got engaged last month and the first thing I did after the excitement wore off was ask my 3 closest friends to be my bridesmaids.
My husband of course asked his best friend to be his best man.
Some more context here is that I’m not particularly close with my fiance’s best friend’s girlfriend. They’ve been together for 2 years but most of that they lived in another state. So I’ve only ever actually hung out with her one other time.
But the girlfriend obviously wasn’t as aware of this lack of closeness as the Bride, leading to an extremely awkward question.
Today we went over to their house so my fiancé can pick something up from his best friend and the subject of our wedding came up. She asked me what color the bridesmaids dresses were gonna be and when she should show up to go shopping for them.
I asked what she meant by that and she said that she wanted to clear it on her schedule with work.
I got silent for a second and she said “Well, because I’m gonna be in the wedding right?”
And I told her, honestly probably a little harsher than I should have, “No, you’re not a bridesmaid.”
Everyone got quiet and we left fairly quickly after that.
Kinda harsh, but she really set herself up for it asking in front of a room of people!
Regardless, OP’s fiancé and his best friend were fuming!
My fiancé told me that I should just let her be a bridesmaid. His best friend is texting him saying she’s devastated.
This happened today and my fiancé, my fiancé’s best friend and his girlfriend all think I’m a jerk now.
AITA?
I mean, she definitely could have let the girl down a little easier, but she certainly doesn’t owe it to the girlfriend to have her in the bridal party!
Just because you instigate a weird little public standoff doesn’t mean you always get what you want!
Reddit definitely sided with her, with commenters like this pointed out that involving her in the wedding itself would be a nightmare!
Another user pointed out how that even people close to the couple shouldn’t assume they are in the bridal party…
Another person pointed out that there must have been people far closer to the bride than her who weren’t asked to be a bridesmaid…
This user was in the exact same position as the girlfriend, and even she expressed her disbelief at her selfish actions!
And this is all not even considering how uncomfortable it would be to be in such an intimate experience with people you barely know!
Was it wrong to basically demand that she get a part in this couple’s special day, or should the bride have been the bigger person and invited her into the bridal party?
I’m siding with the bride on this one. Definitely NTA!
If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.