When it comes to weddings, attire is a hotly contested issue for some couples. I mean, I always thought as long as you didn’t show up in a white dress, or your pyjamas, then you should be okay, right?

If only things were that simple, as this user found out when asked to be part of the bridal party for their sister in law, who insisted on strict gender-specific attire. When this user, who is non-binary, asked to not wear the dress they had been given, the couple refused, and the user decided ultimately to not attend the wedding.

When their family pushed back, they went to Reddit to see if they were in the wrong.

AITA for refusing to attend my brother’s wedding because of the dress code?

My brother is getting married in a few months and his future wife recently asked me to be a part of her bridal party.

I was thrilled and excited to be included, but then she informed me that the dress code for the bridal party was gender-specific, with women expected to wear dresses and men expected to wear suits.

A little bit old fashioned, no?

As someone who identifies as non-binary and is more masculine presenting, I am uncomfortable with conforming to a gender binary that doesn’t accurately represent me.

I brought this up with my brother and his fiancé, but they insisted that they wanted all their guests to adhere to the dress code, regardless of how it made them feel.

Is one person wearing a suit really going to ruin your wedding?

I ultimately decided that I did not want to attend the wedding, as I did not feel comfortable being pressured to conform to a gender binary that doesn’t accurately represent me.

My brother and his fiancé are now upset with me, accusing me of being difficult and not willing to compromise.

Their brother couldn’t let the dress code go..

After a fight with them, I found out they went behind my back and involved my mom.

She called me yesterday and told me I can put aside my identity for one day to make the day special for my little brother.

I now feel bad and didn’t realize something as small as the clothes I feel comfortable wearing would cause a rift within my family.

It sounds like OP’s family has a lot of work to do in terms of respecting their gender expression, and Reddit agrees wholeheartedly, with this user pointing out that a suit is just as formal as a dress!

And when the user clarified that this gendered dress code applied to the entire guest list, people only grew more outraged!

And this user commented that even if this decision was an aesthetic issue, their brother could have easily included them in his party while still letting them express their gender in a way that was comfortable to them.

At the end of the day, it is their wedding and they can set the rules. But that doesn’t mean somebody has to comply.

This seems like it was a good solution.

Let’s just hope they can mend fences in the future.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.