I can’t imagine anything more heartbreaking than know that you’re losing a battle to cancer, leaving behind young kids, and learning that your husband has been unfaithful to you the entire time.
Awful.
That’s exactly what happened to OP’s sister, though.
I lost my sister Jac to cancer several years ago. During her final months she learned her husband Sam was cheating on her. She also became aware that he was planning to make a life with his affair partner once she was gone.
She was angry, hurt, betrayed and felt disgusted by him. He had made all these plans with his other woman with the money she would be leaving behind.
Jac had sued one of her former doctors for medical negligence and won. So she was sitting on a very life changing amount.
Since she passed, OP has been active in her “niblings” lives (and as the trustee for their inheritance).
She did not want Sam or his other woman or any future kids of theirs to benefit from her death and the negligence that caused her very treatable cancer to be fatal. So she changed what would happen to everything and set up a trust with me as the trustee.
Once Sam learned this, after Jac’s death, he did everything to try and carry out damage control with me.
But when he realized I knew about his affair and was disgusted with him and would not be helping him break the law, he tried to cut me off from Sky and Belle.
Which led me to fight for visitation in court under our grandparents (family) rights laws. I won.
I see my niblings every other Saturday, all major holidays and he cannot prevent phone access between us.
Her BIL married his affair partner and had more kids that he wants OP to take along for the ride.
Sam married his other woman and now has additional children as well as her child from a prior relationship who moved in with them 3ish years ago.
He has asked me to include his other children and in the past I would say no. But it has continued to the point where I now ignore his requests completely.
Sky (15m) and Belle (14f) told me their dad tries to involve them but they don’t want to include their step sibling or half siblings.
They actually wanted to live with my family and me. But I don’t have grounds for that.
So I just see and speak to them as much as I can and we spend time together when we get it. But they are pretty clear they want to keep me, my husband and their cousins for themselves.
We’re their only extended maternal family.
She doesn’t want them there and neither do her niblings.
Sky told me a couple of weeks ago that things might get worse because their dad was adopting his stepchild and the oldest half sibling is asking more questions about why they don’t get to come. Sky was right and Sam told me the kids want to come and I should open my heart.
He decided to approach me at the school gate and called me out for ignoring his requests.
A couple of other parents who heard him say I ignored his kids were mumbling that I was a pretty heartless person to let kids get hurt in the middle of this.
Sam also accused me of turning my niblings against him and their family and he said refusing to include the kids shows how much I don’t care about their hurts.
AITA?
Is she wrong for excluding children?
Reddit’s going to let her know!
The top comment says OP is in no way obligated.
This person says shaming can go both ways.
And they’re already appalled with the BIL’s behavior.
This commenter agrees OP should put him in his place.
It might be time for some legal protections, too.
This story makes me so angry!
Well, except the part about how these kids have amazing family still looking out for them.
If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.