There are so many people out there who have fraught relationships with their in-laws. Sometimes there are good reasons, other times there aren’t, but either way it can be tough when there are kids that everyone loves.
OP solved the issue of her in-laws trashing her house.
My husband cannot control his family.
Or at least he refuses to. When his parents visit and give us shit for “forcing” our kids to do chores he gives in and the house slowly becomes a mess that I have been left to clean up.
When his siblings visit we are expected to clean up after them. I never agreed to this so now I leave.
I lock my office up and go to my parents’ house. I meet up with his family at restaurants or other public places.
Now, though, they’re complaining about her lack of interest – but OP has the receipts.
His parents have learned now that when they visit they have to clean up after the kids or get them or my husband to do it.
They tried saying that I was abusive for refusing to do housework while they visited. So I posted a picture of my home before they came and one I took during their last visit. I asked them why the house was so messy and dirty and did they have anything to do with it.
They said it wasn’t their mess. I replied that the house was clean before they showed up.
Once they started getting dogpiled for messing up my house they threw the kids under the bus. They said my kids were uncontrollable and it was their mess.
I pointed out that there was no mess until they came so obviously my kids were able to clean up.after themselves when there weren’t people telling them not to.
Her husband is begging but doesn’t like his options.
My husband’s siblings have cancelled plans to visit because they know I won’t be there to clean up after them or cook so they will have to cook or spend money on takeout and restaurants. Great outcome in my opinion.
My husband says that I’m being unfair putting all the work of cleaning up on him. I said he has two children to help him as well as ADULT guests who should be able to not make a mess.
I also told him he could just pay a cleaning service out of his discretionary funds if he wanted to let his family run rampant and not clean up after them.
He said that I was being mean by not contributing and making him spend his money. I asked how much he normally spends on cleaning the house. The answer is nothing since the four of us keep the house clean and tidy when we are on our own.
Should OP reconsider or hold the line? Let’s find out!
The top comment says she thinks this is the perfect solution.
They want to take her out for a little self-care.
Being a good host doesn’t mean playing Cinderella.
But this person says her husband needs to be dealt with, too.
Imagine if everyone thought cleaning up after themselves was abuse.
This woman is the hero we never knew we needed.
I salute her ingenuity and being willing to hold her ground.
If you thought that was an interesting read, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.