If we lived in a perfect world, everyone would come from a family where they were loved and well-treated and just grew up secure and happy.
Sadly, we do not live in that world. So, it can be a really amazing moment when someone who didn’t grow up in a family like that finds one happy to take them in.
OP has a girlfriend whose family has been that to him.
My girlfriend Ember (20F) and I (20M) went to her family for Christmas. We started dating over 2 years ago and I met her family on their first visit to the college and they included me in lunch.
Ever since I have kept in regular contact with them and when they visit Ember, they make sure they spend some time with me as well.
They are really awesome people and have made me feel so included. They even buy me gifts for my birthday and Christmas.
When he wanted to spend Christmas with them, his mother objected.
Ember and I moved in together in July and her family flew out to help us set up. They were so incredibly helpful to us and they invited us to Christmas dinner at that point.
I say us but I really mean me since Ember goes to them anyway. It meant so much to me and I immediately said yes.
My mom was bothered by it when I told her and she put pressure on me to change my mind and go “home” right up until Christmas.
I always told her I was going to Ember’s family and never wavered or made this unclear to her. She just assumed I would choose her anyway.
The thing is, she didn’t protect him like she should have up until now.
So there’s some background to this I should explain right here. I come from a “blended” family. I say “blended” because it really wasn’t very well blended lol.
My mom had me, met my stepdad when I was 2 or 3. He was a widower with a 6 and 8 year old. They got married. They also had two children together. My mom’s family were never part of my life. They were in and out of jail for various things so mom didn’t include them. I never knew my father or his family.
My stepdad’s family never saw me as one of their own. My stepsiblings had family from their mom’s side who were very involved too. And growing up I always felt very out of place and like I didn’t belong anywhere.
My step and half siblings all had at least one set of grandparents who adored them and they had a great relationship with. I had no extended family. My stepsiblings never saw me as their brother and were distant.
I was around both stepdad’s family and his first wife’s family and I always felt awkward. I was overlooked. Any inclusion was lesser than full inclusion other kids in the family had. I got it, especially with my stepsiblings family, but it would have been easier to stay at home.
My mom never really got it or had much to say about it and my stepdad was never someone I felt I could talk to.
Anyway, going home was not something I felt good about because I normally had to see all these people who didn’t really want me. Christmas 2022 was rough for that very reason.
I loved my Christmas with Ember’s family though.
So, should he feel badly for ditching her for the holidays?
Mom was so mad at me for choosing to go there instead of home. She said we’re not married yet and we’re still so young we should be with our own family for Christmas.
I told her I went there because I actually feel like I’m part of the family instead of being around a huge extended “blended” family where nobody wants me.
My mom told me that wasn’t fair and she always wants me and so do my siblings. She told me I was saying things to be hurtful and that was unfair.
AITA?
Let’s hear what Reddit has to say!
The top comment reassures OP they have done nothing wrong.
This person says his mom should have paid more attention while he was growing up.
After all, you can’t expect kids to forget something like that.
This commenter thinks OP would be better off not looking back.
Either way, they’re glad he knows his worth.
I’m happy OP has found a family who cares about him.
It’s just too bad he didn’t have it all along.
If you thought that was an interesting read, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.