It’s no secret that weddings are a ton of work and can also cause a lot of drama. That said, when a friend asks you to stand up with them it is still an honor and you should only say yes if you’re all in.
OP said yes to being a maid-of-honor.
6 months ago my (24F) best friend Tess (26F) asked me to be her Maid of honour for her wedding.
We have been friends for years now and I love her a lot, she has always been there for me and we’ve been through a lot together.
The one thing Tess was the most excited for was her bachelorette, she has been talking about it even before she got engaged (which is why I feel so guilty).
I also helped her plan our vegas trip and we were supposed to leave this week.
When the time came for the bachelorette weekend, though, something came up.
But a few days ago, Jason got laid off of work. Even though he saw it coming, it hit him hard. He’s just stressed and really upset.
He didn’t even tell me at first because he didn’t want me to be worried, but when he finally told me I just knew I couldn’t go anymore.
I was really conflicted, and I knew what this meant to Tess and that I’m the MOH, but I just couldn’t even consider going to vegas while Jason is this upset.
He’s a strong guy but I felt like he shouldn’t go through this alone.
Her friend was very upset and said some hurtful things.
I worked up the courage to call Tess and it just went so much worse than I planned. Tess thought I was joking first, and then she just became really angry which is understandable, but I wish she understood my situation too.
Tess at first told me to do whatever and cut the call, she didn’t respond when I tried contacting her again.
After that she sent me a lot of messages saying that I’m stealing her special day, and started questioning why I accepted to be made of honour if I didn’t want to do the duties that came along with it.
She said I’m untrustworthy and jealous, that I’m ruining her special moment for a guy I’ve only known for a year.
I’ll admit, I usually don’t accept Tess’s offers to go clubbing and she blames that on Jason being controlling, but in reality but I’ve explained that, I just turned into a homebody because I never really enjoyed that stuff in the first place.
I still go out with her a lot, I make sure I’m there for her. But for her bachelorette I was willing to do that and more. I really did want to go and make it special.
She told me that her whole plan will fall through, because I was the one with the plan. I told her I’ll explain it all to one of our other friends.But she said I don’t have to because I’m no longer her friend, that hurt a lot to hear.
OP isn’t sure who is right and who is wrong.
One one hand, I don’t regret my decision, Jason needs me and Tess should understand how difficult this is for us.
But also, this is a once in a lifetime trip, and she has been dreaming about it since forever. I’m also the one who planned a lot of the stuff.
Our mutuals also reached out to let me know that Tess was very angry, and that what I did was not cool.
Now I’m doubting myself, and I need to know if I have to apologise.
I obviously can’t ask anyone I know, Jason thinks I’m right, and I’m sure Derek and the bridesmaids think Tess is right.
So that is why this post. Thank you, if you are trying to help me.
I have a feeling Reddit is about to let her know.
The top comment says OP owes her friend an apology.
They say friends like her are hard to have.
This person says the fact that her bf let her stay home is a big red flag.
And this commenter agrees a good boyfriend would do the opposite.
Quite a few of them have concerns.
I have to agree that this guy does not sound like a catch.
It’s tough to say whether or not her friend will even take her back.
If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.