Are y’all ready for some therapy talk?
A psychologist named Dr. Angelica Shields took to TikTok to dissect how some couples operate and how these dynamics can lead to problems.
Dr. Shields talked to viewers about what she calls “hot wife and mean husband” dynamic. She said, “The female’s deeper feelings and needs can’t help but bust through. ‘You never talk to me,’ she thinks, only she doesn’t say that out loud because that’s too vulnerable. She sets up a test to see if she doesn’t talk to her man, how long will it take him to notice?”
Hmmm…
She continued, “He’s avoidant, so he doesn’t notice. Or she’s still so afraid of abandonment, if she’s vulnerable, she keeps him at arm’s length by criticizing or bossing him around instead of saying, ‘See me, engage with me, care about me.’ But he’s avoidant, so he takes everything at face value and just gets super defensive. Like, ‘What do you want from me? I just can’t win.'”
Dr. Shields added that this dynamic is one of her favorites to treat because, “They both have deep wounds to be healed, and in the safety of a therapy office with parameters around the exercises, they’re wide open to heal them.”
Does this sound familiar to you?
Check out what she had to say.
@dr..angelica.shie The wife thinks this guy is a narcissist, but that’s not the case. This #couple does amazing in therapy. #marriage #relationships #communication #wounds #corebeliefs #trauma #couplestherapy #healing #anxiousdisorganized #anxiousattachment #attachment #avoidantattachment #bigfive #bigfivepersonality #neurotic #anxiety #emotional #imago #partner #boyfriend #girlfriend #therapist
Let’s see how folks reacted.
This viewer feels SEEN.
Another individual thinks she’s talking about their life.
And one person said her and her BF got over this hump.
Don’t avoid therapy if you’re really trying to fix your relationship.
I hope this advice helps!
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