Man, dealing with in-laws can be a total minefield, can’t it? I guess there are the lucky few that get the great ones, but the rest of us?
We often get blindsided when differing opinions pop up in the oddest places.
OP’s the last child and the only girl.
I (f21) have three older brothers. My brother (m32) is married. His wife is 30
Both of our parents are lawyers, mom was still working full time when my brothers were born/ they were little.
Then they had me and my mom (who always wanted a girl) decided to switch to SAHM and later on she started working part time when I started school.
I think I was a little bit more “sheltered” than my brothers, but I think that’s just because I’m a girl and not because our parents love me more? I’ve seen it with my friends’ parents as well.
Now she is a mother herself and is really loving the experience.
I am also married and I’m a SAHM too, my husband and I have a four month old baby boy.
Well, now the conflict. This happened last week at my nephew’s birthday party.
At one point, I asked everyone if they minded if I nursed my baby there or if I could go to one of the bedrooms to do it.
Everyone was fine with it, so I just followed through and we continued talking. I’m only breastfeeding my son, I don’t pump milk or give him formula.
My sister in law asked me about it, I told her that I just prefer to do it like this, my son’s pediatrician says that he’s healthy and doesn’t need formula, so I like breastfeeding.
Then, out of nowhere, her SIL started in on her.
Well, my SIL thought that it was “very offensive” how I said that I liked it because it sounded as if I don’t understand my privilege for being able to do it.
She said “of course you like it because you don’t do anything else all day than have your kid in your arms and breast”.
I feel like that came out of nowhere honestly and I asked her why she was saying that.
She told me that she’s tired of hearing me talk about how wonderful motherhood is because I’m just a glorified housewife and I talk like being a mother is the easiest thing in the world, just because I don’t work and I don’t do most of the house work.
I told her that every time I talk about motherhood, I do it from my perspective. It’s not my fault that other women don’t enjoy it as much as I do, I am giving my opinion and that’s all.
She defended herself, and eventually, left the party.
Well, then she started calling me out on my “privileges” and said that I’m just a “silly girl who doesn’t understand the world”.
I got angry and replied to her, so on top of what my SIL was saying, my brother started telling me to stop with that spoiled brat attitude and that I need to face the real world and he insisted on how privileged and spoiled I am (by our parents and my husband)
My husband intervened, my brother and him argued too. My parents also tried to say that SIL’s attack was uncalled for. My husband and I left, so did my parents.
Now she’s wondering whether or not she made the wrong move.
Well about half an hour after I left I received a text from my brother saying that everyone was uncomfortable and some people have left his son’s birthday party because I “can’t take criticism”.
He also said that my nephew is “severely upset” with me.
My husband and parents are very obviously on my side, so are my friends although one of them told me that maybe my SIL is stressed out because of her job and taking care of her children and as another mother I should be more understanding.
I wonder where Reddit is going to fall…
The top comment says the SIL is angry about something else entirely.
And this person says they shouldn’t be surprised that she left.
While this commenter thinks it’s really the brother who is angry.
He should be angry with his mom, though, not his sister.
They say OP might not be as innocent as she seems.
I agree this was definitely not about breastfeeding.
Hopefully they can air it all out at a more appropriate time.
If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.