When obsession ruins relationships: this week on Days of Our Lives.
Hey, it’s great to be a big fan of sports teams, artists or musicians.
We all have flavors of our lives, but we should always be self-aware in our pursuit of those loves.
Especially when it comes into conflict with those we might plan to marry.
One man is coming to a stone cold realization that his fiancee might be a problem.
AITA for telling my sister the real reason why my fiancée was absent from her wedding?
I am a 30-year-old man. My fiancee, Shelly, is a 26-year-old woman.
Ever since I met Shelly, she has been open about one of her interests, which is Korean music. It’s not exactly my jam, but I am always happy to hear her talk about it.
I was not aware early in our relationship, though, that by “Korean music,” she particularly meant one specific male pop star.
His name is Kai.
OP finds out that his fiancee’s once-cute obsession might actually be a little more worrying than he initially thought.
Since we began cohabiting last year, I’ve also come to learn that it’s less of an interest and more of an obsession.
She spends an inordinate amount of time looking at his pictures, following his fan communities, and listening to his music.
If I’m being perfectly honest it’s a pretty huge turn off for me personally, but people will like what they like I suppose.
Last summer, my sister told us that she was getting married and we were super happy for her.
We immediately RSVP’d for her wedding, which was on Friday, January 12th.
However, in December, Shelly came up to me and told me that she couldn’t attend my sister’s wedding.
When I asked why, she responded that she was going to be in South Korea around that time.
He must be incredibly disappointed, especially given the actual reason she’s leaving for Korea.
Not the least of which, your sibling’s wedding being a major show of support for someone you’re talking about marrying.
I figured that Kai was having some sort of a performance or fan meet and greet, but it was even worse. Shelly wanted to attend a fan-held birthday party event. Apparently his birthday is January 14th, which is today’s date in South Korea.
I asked if she was out of her mind, seeing as (a) she doesn’t speak Korean (other than some of the lyrics of his she memorized), (b) she doesn’t have that much money and lives primarily off of what I make, and (c) she was going to prioritize some random pop star’s birthday party over her fiance’s sister’s wedding.
But his fiancee *shocker* stays hard-headed, and won’t budge.
Sounds like selfishness incarnate.
Shelly told me she was going and that was that.
Before she left for the trip a few days ago (on my birthday, actually), she begged me to tell my sister that she couldn’t go because she was sick.
I really didn’t want to talk about it and just told her “OK.”
Well, yesterday was my sister’s wedding. It was a lovely ceremony. My sister and her husband were confused as to why Shelly wasn’t there, and I immediately fessed up that she was in South Korea for an event. My sister was a little upset, but I told her not to let it ruin the day for her.
OP’s sister finally drops the mic and emails his fiancee, breaking the ice, and probably dragging this much-needed discussion out into the light.
After the wedding my sister apparently emailed Shelly, telling her that she wish she would have been upfront because she could have saved some money on her food for the event, and then Shelly emailed me furious about my telling the truth.
Was I wrong to tell her the truth or were my actions justified here?
Red. Flag. Central.
Let’s see what folks had to say.
One commenter brought up the massive red flag that’s on all of our minds.
While another person knows exactly who his fiancee is obsession about, and the major warning OP should heed.
Another person left us with some great words of wisdom.
Nothing to see here.
Just selfish people doing selfish things.
If you liked that post, check out this one about an employee that got revenge on HR when they refused to reimburse his travel.