Family dynamics are always shifting and changing, and I think that in most cases, the haves are more than happy to bring the have-nots up to their level when they can.
But when the have-nots come to expect favors, things can get a little wonky.
OP has a cousin who doesn’t have much money, so she often shares her hand-me-downs.
My (16f) whole family (grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins) is attending a formal event in a couple of weeks.
My step-cousin “Jen” and I are the same age, and her dad married my aunt when she was 6.
Jen’s dad doesn’t make a lot of money, so Jen didn’t have a lot of things growing up, and my mother would always give my old things to Jen rather than throw them away.
Especially for formal events, which we all attend quite often because of my grandparents, my mother would always take the dress I’d worn to the last function and give it to Jen so that her dad didn’t have to buy one.
As we’re now older and not growing, I now only loan the dresses to Jen.
This time, though, her cousin wanted the new dress and for OP to wear the old one.
I assumed it would be the same this time, so a few days ago when Jen and her family came over for dinner I took Jen upstairs to give her the dress.
Jen saw the new dress I had for the event and asked if I would loan her that one instead.
She said she’d never got to wear a dress everyone hadn’t already seen me in and it wasn’t fair she always had hand me downs.
I said no, because I’d bought the dress to wear to this event, I was being nice to lend her a dress, she doesn’t get to demand it be the new one.
She doesn’t want to, but some of the adults are taking her cousin’s side.
Jen and I were arguing and eventually the adults got involved.
My parents stick up for me and said I don’t have to share the dress, but Jen was very upset and her dad took her side, saying it wouldn’t kill me to wear one of the many other dresses I have and just let Jen have the special one for once.
I then said if she wants a specific dress he should buy it, not try and take it from kids, which set him off.
The parents are now fighting over this dress drama, and part of me thinks maybe I should have just loaned Jen the dress.
I love that dress and I was excited to wear it, which is why I didn’t, and my parents say I absolutely shouldn’t. But I don’t want everyone to fall out over it.
AITA for not giving her the dress?
What about Reddit? Let’s see!
The top comment thinks the cousin’s dad should be doing more.
Or maybe the grandparents should be willing to help out.
No one thinks OP’s uncle is doing his fair share.
They don’t think much of OP’s aunt, either.
Overall, they think the entitlement is strong with this one.
I feel sorry for OP’s cousin.
That said, I don’t think she is entitled to OP’s new dress.
If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.