Nobody who is a regular Reddit reader would ever argue that being part of a family is always easy and free of drama.
That said, I think most people who have good parents know how lucky they are.
OP has biological siblings. She also has a 14yo “adopted” sister who has been hanging around since she was about 4.
I am 26F and my “adopted sister” Ally is 14F.
The way we’re “related” is that my younger brother Michael (24M) has been with his wife Maya (24F) since their freshman year of high school.
Maya and Ally had a really bad home life and my mom is very much a “my home is open to everyone” type of person, so over that year Maya began spending more and more time at our house, eventually bringing Ally over as well since she was always babysitting.
By the time Michael and Maya were 16 years old, Maya basically lived in the guest room and Ally spent after school, most weekends, holidays, and summer vacation at our house.
OP’s brother married the little girl’s sister. The rest of her family has embraced them both, but OP doesn’t have the warm fuzzy feelings.
My mom and dad say that they love both Maya and Ally like their own children. My other siblings (18M and 16F) also treat her like she’s a part of the family. Even after Maya and Michael moved out, Ally is still at their house the same amount, if not more than she was before.
Now to preface, I have nothing against Ally. She’s a good kid and I make an effort to be nice to her.
However, I’ve never really liked how she was foisted into our lives.
She’s not actually adopted and she *still has parents and her own family*. Yet my parents spend so much time and resources on her, it’s ridiculous.
Everyone else has started unironically calling her their daughter or sister and I’ve refused.
I just don’t consider her to be family.
When her wedding day rolled around, she excluded the 14yo from her family photo.
Anyways, I got married recently, which is where the issues start.
I invited Ally to the wedding, of course, and she came with all of my other family.
When we were doing pictures of the wedding parties, I decided that I wanted one with all of my immediate family (so my parents, my siblings, and Maya, and Maya and Michael’s daughter).
My mom brought Ally up to come take the picture with us and I was forced to tell her no. My mom started to get upset but then Ally said it was okay and sat down by herself.
Her siblings and parents are upset because the girl was upset.
My mom isn’t a very confrontational person so she didn’t make a big deal of it but then everyone else realized that Ally wasn’t there and they got mad as well.
Ultimately, we took the photo how I wanted it because they “didn’t want to do this at my wedding” but my entire family is pissed at me now.
My mom said that Ally cried when she got home because I don’t love her, which I don’t.
OP isn’t sure why she should really care.
I feel like they forced into a position where I had to do an asshole thing by forcing this kid onto me. I don’t think I should have to consider her family if I don’t want to.
AITA?
The top comment says OP is wrong and probably should explore the source of her resentment.
This person, though, adamantly disagrees.
Some thought she was for sure being petty.
She might be right, but that doesn’t mean she was kind.
This commenter says OP should have seen this coming and had a plan.
I hate to judge since I don’t know her.
She sounds pretty awful from this post, though.
If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.