Two things can be true: your spouse can do nothing wrong, and your perception of the situation can make them seem like the bad guy.
Also, women’s mental health really suffers in those first few months postpartum, and I really think we need to talk about it more.
OP has a new baby and a husband who showers every morning.
My husband (43M) and I (31F) welcomed our second child four months ago.
With having a new baby I’m extra cautious about germs and cleaning. This got me thinking about my husband’s shower routine.
He will take a shower in the morning and go off to work. He’s a chemist so mostly desk job but sometimes he walks outside from one building to the next. They are less than a block away.
We live in humid hot Florida so that adds to the equation some inevitable perspiration.
He’s also a manager so he deals with people all day long.
Now, she feels as if he’s too “dirty” to sleep in the bed if he doesn’t take another shower at the end of the day.
I have tried to bring up the subject of him taking a quick shower when he gets home from work or even just before bed.
He says that he does not need to take another shower since he showered in the morning.
I try to explain that I don’t feel comfortable with him laying in the bed because I lay our baby there sometimes and I feel like the bed sheets are dirty by him laying on them, same with our comforter.
The baby sleeps in a bassinet safely next to me but during the day. I will lay him in the bed while I do chores around him like folding laundry, etc.
And maybe if he doesn’t agree he should sleep somewhere else.
I realize everybody has their own routines but I have washed my hair in the morning, showered and gone through the day.
At the end of it I’m feeling dirty, grimy and in NEED of a shower before bed.
How can he be okay with having gone through the whole day and not feel like he should shower?
I finally told him I’m not comfortable with him laying in bed dirty so he should sleep in the guest room.
I have OCPD so it’s really hard for me to not have things be the way I feel they should be in my mind.
In my mind it’s disgusting for him to lay in bed dirty but what do you guys think?
AITA?
The top comment confirms OP is overreacting.
This person isn’t feeling as kind, though.
And it matters that she actually sees the issue behind the issue.
Awareness is so important.
And there are other ways of looking at the germs and babies thing.
I’m glad she is aware of her mental health issues and is getting treatment.
If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.