It’s wild how some people act once there’s a baby in the room. Like, all good manners and basic respect and common decency just go right out the window for some reason.
This seems to be an issue particularly with older women, whether it be mother in laws or mothers or stepmothers, and you’d honestly think they would have learned by now.
OP recently had her first baby and her inlaws have been super extra.
I (29F) had my first baby 3 months ago… from literally the time my baby was born my SO parents were non stop visiting. I was in the hospital 48 hours due to c-section and had his divorced parents and their SO visit multiple times each.
My issue begin here with his fathers SO, we’ll call her Jane.
For context, Jane made no effort to reach out during the entire pregnancy and only ever texted me once the morning of the scheduled C-section.
Her husband’s stepmother in particular really upset OP with her actions.
Immediately upon entering the hospital room Jane runs over to the bassinet and grabs my few hour old baby from it without asking or even washing here hands. I was beyond exhausted and out of it that at the time I didn’t say anything, which I regret.
Fast forward the next 6 weeks, they constantly wanted to visit… when they did visit they wanted to sit there hold my baby and take photos.
Jane would show up with gifts for the baby and my SO and nothing for me. And never once offering to help with anything or bring by coffee or food, nothing.
I log on FB one morning after they had visited and Jane had posted photos of my baby blabbering on about how “nana loves her”… and proceeds to give an inaccurate birth date in the comments.
They’ve tried talking to her but she refuses to listen.
I tell my partner that this bothered me as she did not ask permission to post photos of our baby online and I would like them removed.
Jane makes a huge stink over the matter saying she’s being targeted and “everyone else” can post but her. I explain my stance and somehow it blew up into her feeling like she only has the title of a grandparent but can’t do the “duties” of one… because I wouldn’t let her change my babies diaper.
His father doesn’t seem to get where I’m coming from either but my SO told him that Jane needs to apologize and understand that there’s boundaries that need to be respected.
Then, the woman bought everyone Christmas gifts except for OP.
It has now been well over a month and the holidays have come and gone.. haven’t heard a peep from them since. Until this week.. she passed along Christmas gifts to my SO.
There were 5 gifts.. 1 made out to my SO, 1 to our baby and the other 3 were made out to his sister and her bf. I immediately knew she did this so I would see that she gave everyone a gift except me as she had seen his sister the weekend before and could have given her the gifts and I know she has met the sisters bf twice, yet he gets gifts but not the mother of the baby you love to much.
So, OP told her she was no longer welcome in their home or with their baby.
I sat on it for a day and thought about it all and decided I have received nothing but disrespect from her from the beginning and that I was
1. Saying she isn’t welcome in our house again and
2. She isn’t welcome to touch/hold our baby.
AITA for saying she is no longer welcome at our home and she isn’t welcome to hold our baby?
Did she overreact? Let’s hear what Reddit has to say!
The top comment encourages OP to keep matching the woman’s energy.
Just because men don’t get it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.
Not everyone is defending her husband, though.
She doesn’t need to be dealing with this right now.
You’ve got to be straightforward with people like this.
This is really a pretty big deal.
I personally don’t think OP is overreacting at all.
If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.