I’m not a fan of pranks, personally. I think it’s really tough to strike just the right tone, where everyone involved can laugh and think it’s funny.
Most people aren’t in it for more than being a bit mean-spirited, in my opinion.
OP’s military boss was no different.
This happened in the mid 80’s while I was active duty Air Force. I was a Sgt (E-4), my direct supervisor was a Tsgt (E-6). This Tsgt (Rob, not his real name) was a real jerk.
He was about 5’10”” and a bean pole. He lived on coffee and cigarettes (and thinking of ways to bully subordinates). Well, in addition to being a jerk, Rob had a very nasty sense of humor. He could dish it out but couldn’t take it.
The pranks got worse and worse until OP was really fed up.
We had these old metal desks with plexiglass covering the tops. He started in on me with super gluing my coffee cup to the plexiglass top.
Needless to say, when I went to pick up the cup everything went everywhere. Of course the whole office laughed hysterically. I didn’t blame them, nobody wanted to be Robs target. Next he moved my car to another parking lot.
Right before I called the Security Police, he told me where my car was. He kept it up (not just me either, but the whole office) till one day he went to far.
We had just got a new Captain assigned to our branch. He was a nice man, quiet, kind and earned all of our respect. He “heard” about all the crap Rob pulled and witnessed a few of the milder pranks. Then Rob got nastier.
I went out to the parking lot at the end of the day and my car (a little Civic) was up in blocks. I almost had a stroke. Rob went too far.
Granted, the Captain made Rob put my tires back on (and read him the riot act). Back in the 80’s the atmosphere was much more relaxed (I.e., you could get away with more).
So, he went to his boss and they plotted revenge.
The Captain and I decided that I should get my revenge.
My revenge had to be carefully thought out AND I had to cover my ass as Rob could destroy my career. First, the Captain changed my reporting official (supervisor) to himself. This was to prevent Rob from writing me a horrible (or mediocre) Airman Performance Report (APR).
The timing was important as Rob had just written my annual report so the change in reporting official wouldn’t trigger another APR.
Then I went to the base hospital and got a few letterheads from a friend in the Environmental Health Office. The Environmental Health Office was the office that handled all the reports of STI’s and did all the mandatory interviews.
I had to swear on my unborn children’s heads that this wouldn’t get back to them.
The Captain and I went to work on a letter scheduling a date for Rob to be interviewed as a confirmed contact of someone that was positive with a STI.
The guy honestly sounds like quite the piece of work.
This was going to hit Rob hard. You see, he thought the world of himself. According to him, he was his wife’s master and HE ruled the house and his kids. He never had any other woman but his wife, who, according to him, worshiped the ground he walked on.
Also, she would t even leave the house to buy groceries without letting him know (asking permission). I sort of believed him on that one as she called the office several times a day.
Well, the letter was written and place in the afternoon distribution. The Captain made sure he was standing right next to Rob when he opened his official mail.
Rob was a creature of habit and always stood right by his distribution tray to read his mail (coffee in cup and cigarette in hand).
I was sitting at my desk watching. I swear Rob turned white and I could hear him say something to the Captain.
I could see the Captain reading the letter Rob handed him so I moved a bit closer (not a huge office) and heard the Captain say “well Rob, have you been horsing around?” Rob of course, was denying this (like really, who would touch him… yuck) and kept saying “I can’t believe this”…. it wasn’t until a few minutes later when Rob went to grab a phone (to call his wife???).
the Captain said, wait Rob! He (the Cap) looked at me and said “do you think this is enough?”. The Captain and I both busted out laughing. Everyone in the office was looking around confused and asking what was so funny.
Neither the Captain or I would tell anyone what was going on. Rob knocked over the distribution boxes, threw his car key and started having a fit.
You can tell because no one felt sorry for him.
The Captain stopped Robs fit and basically told him (quietly) that he deserved what he got and he ordered Rob to stop with the pranks.
Thank god I had thought about changing my reporting official because Rob would have roasted me. Not much later I volunteered for a overseas assignment (it seemed the prudent thing to do).
My revenge did get around eventually (within the upper ranks). It seemed to be a consensus that Rob got what he deserved.
The top comment says they could have taken it further.
But no one wants to see his wife get hurt.
Guys like this always do it to themselves.
The military is the wild west.
It could have been dangerous to let it keep going.
He definitely got what he deserved.
I’d love to think he learned his lesson.
If you liked that story, check out this post about a group of employees who got together and why working from home was a good financial decision.